thoughts on a bus

A turning tide
Lovers at a great divide
why d'you laugh
When I know that you hurt inside?

And why d'you say
It's just another day, nothing in my way
I don't wanna go, I don't wanna stay
So there's nothing left to say?
And why d'you lie
When you wanna die, when you hurt inside
Don't know what you lie for anyway
Now there's nothing left to say

A tell-tale sign
You don't know where to draw the line

And why d'you say
It's just another day, nothing in my way
I don't wanna go, I don't wanna stay
So there's nothing left to say
And why d'you lie
When you wanna die, when you hurt inside
Don't know what you lie for anyway
Now there's nothing left to say

Well for a lonely soul, you're having such a nice time
For a lonely soul, you're having such a nice time
For a lonely soul, it seems to me that you're having such a nice time
You're having such a nice time

For a lonely soul, you're having such a nice time
For a lonely soul, you're having such a nice time
For a lonely soul, it seems to me that you're having such a nice time
You're having such a nice time

While having myself a cuppa lovin'...

So there's my cuppa, and here's the reminiscin'..

I miss my little room with the big window.
And the view out into the sky.
Where over a little hill,
Is where the sunsets lie.

We're huddled against the heater,
On that little fold out bed,
Watching Stephen Chow
Fall over his own head.

And then quite out of now where,
I gave a little squeal.
"It's snowing its snowing!"
Oh I can remember how that feels!

We push open that giant window
and climb out onto the ledge
To watch the rest of the street
all go a little mad.

hehe..

As one by one the snow flakes fell
and settled on our noses,
we felt them on our cheeks
pretty and soft - like roses.

It filled me with a wistful yearning
for life to always be like that
But alas I'm here.
What happened to that?

I miss the winter
I miss being carefree
I miss the friendship
I miss me.

Me.

maybe i just dont want to do this anymore. whine.

23 and counting...

it has barely begun.. and sometimes i can't wait for it to end. Still, it has been and experience and theres nothing better to do with it than learn and move on. But history likes to repeat itself, unfortunately.

its time to get off that bed and step into your Possibility. but please dont trip over your feet.

Hehe...

"She's My Man"

This town was built on muddy stilts
By the lunatic parade
It rains like Revelations
Gonna wash these freaks away
Some girls wanna hold your hand
And some girls like to pray
Well my girl takes her drinks
With dust and rusty razor blades

As I lie between these covers
I wanna tell her that I love it
When she chokes me in the
Backseat of her riverboat 'cause

She's my man
And we got all the balls we need
When you taste that pavement
You're amazed
She smells your sympathy
So bye bye ladies
May the best queen hold the crown
For the most bush sold on the levee
My my, how word gets around
She strangles for a good time
And she kills my self-control
She's my man, don't be too sad sonny
'Cause she'll never be your woman no more

Someday soon, this dank lagoon's
Gonna sink right into hell
They'll hide you from Big Ida
At the Sho' Enough Hotel
The Ladies of the evening's just
A tombstone in your bed
Well my girl eats a wounded preacher
'tween two loaves of bread

I know she's up to something
But how can I run when she's just
Keel-hauled twenty-on to nothing
I'll stay next to the steel coal oven 'cause

She's my man
And we got all the balls we need
When you taste that pavement
You're amazed
She smells your sympathy
So bye bye ladies
May the best queen hold the crown
For the most bush sold on the levee
My my, how word gets around
She strangles for a good time
And she kills my self-control
She's my man, don't be too sad sonny
'Cause she'll never be your woman no more

All you need's just a fist of a tear-stained bunny
When the good ship comes to town
Who said loves a bitch'll sit next to me honey
Because this old boat's gonna run aground
I don't want to be the burden
Or your jealous bastard
I don't wanna be the Tarzan of your next epic disaster

She's my man
And we got all the balls we need
When you taste that pavement
You're amazed
She smells your sympathy
So bye bye ladies
May the best queen hold the crown
For the most bush sold on the levee
My my, how word gets around
She strangles for a good time
And she kills my self-control
She's my man, don't be too sad sonny
'Cause she'll never be your woman no more

She's my man, can't you feel her comin'
She's my man, she's gonna keep you runnin'
She's my man, she's gonna teach you something
She's me, she's my man

Hmm.. Last day of the year but I won't get to resolutions yet.

The last two nights have been quite nice and comforting in the dreams department =) Last night was playing texas hold'em with my bro and dad.. haha.. guess where that came from. Night before was quite an adventure with a nice ending even though I think it started off quite sinister. Not really sure now. haha.

Anyways, since I'll be on event over the turn of the year, here's wishing all a fabulous 2007 in advance and may it be a year for dreams and wishes to come true!

Love y'all!

Goin Home

I love introducing people to the things I love. It's absolutely brilliant because you're reminded of the wonderful things that attracted you to it in the first place and you always find new things to love! Home Club is no exception. Brought Tush around after a night at MOS. Thought we'd just chill and have a last drink.. also because I hadn't been there in a looooooong while and had a hankering since we were so close by. I'm glad it was a good experience all in all and showed her the unpretentious side of clubbing where people actually loved and knew the music as opposed to using the music to feel "cool", whatever that might be.

Come home soon!

Greedy

I hate it when i get greedy. Haha.. it's really true that you can't have too much of a good thing. Maybe that's why some people think they wanna settle down.

light up light up, as if you have a choice

even if you cannot hear my voice, i'll be right beside you dear.

Be fair to me
tell me what you know
how do l decide
if l should stay or go
am l good enough
will i ever see
how this could ever be

tell me right now
then l won't waste my time
chasing something
that will never be mine
dreams are dreams
they don't have to come true

as a matter of fact
they seldom do

a miracle now
is a way that is found
to get out of this mess
please sir, let me have this one
and you can have the rest

Liberation!

AAAAah! hahah.. finally! It didn't really hit until the weekend started :) first in what - 3months? And it feels amazing! haha.. all that freedom to do what you want and nothing that you don't want! No restrictions as to where you need to be and what you need to be doing. Could've been better but dreams are in the making out there and it really is quite cool. haha.. i'm actually quite proud of it ;)

i love having my time to be mine :D i love it love it love it! now i wanna go for a coffee, club, drink, beach, dinner, HANG OUT!! I love life!! hahaha... I now have time for a movie! Cut my hair! READ! LIVE!

wooo hooo!!!!

I love havana nights!! Everytime i watch the movie, i want to go to this place where you can be who you want to be at that moment. the grace, passion, intensity.. its just breath taking.

end

it was a quiet, almost non-event. Quite anti-climatic actually. haha.

So that was seven months of grief off my back : ) Can't say I'm sad that it's over. Not that it's much to shout about either since there's tonnes of paper to clear. But it's a relief that it'll never come back again. haha.. can tell that most of it was bad huh? Guess its time to muster up all that optimism from years gone by and try to see it all as one huge-assed lesson to be learnt. And for that I am grateful.

but please give me some time to recover ok?

Thanks babe, for offering refuge last night. Needed it. :)

Start

Ok. New start to the day.

Has been good so far.. got up after only 2 snoozes, read on the train, snoozed a little on the bus and managed to buy breakfast, eat and clear emails in good time. Also decided to lose the coffee in the morning and do with juice instead. Healthier I guess. If I need to then coffee in the afternoon will do just as well since its probably when I need it most.

So on to a healthy start.. hope the rest of the day goes just as well!

Refreshed

For some reason. Most probably the two 8-hour comas I've had within the past week. Of course, there's also the moving on to other stuff. It's like I finally have time to live and do the things I like again - reading, enjoying music without having to think about how it affects my mood, having proper dinners and drinks with people I connect with. Have a conversation :)

So in the morning, after the panic of waking up 30 mins late, here's what ran through my mind:

1) Take up driving again - get my licence within a year
2) Go back to Salsa and dancing in December - 2006
3) I will make a habit of reading prose written about things unrelated to work. If it leads me back to what I do and how I can work - fine.
4) Keep in touch with those I love. It's a horrible feeling to lose contact even for just a month. Really makes you feel more alone than you really are.
5) Make 1st Dec a real good one.
6) Always be inspired by what's around me. It's the only way to be creative and to know that you're still living.

So there. Six simple things to do that I will start on immediately.

First one that's already accomplished was reading - although for free at Borders. It was a book about the top creative minds in Singapore in the Ad industry and what inspires them, what their ethos is. And I'm glad to know that they don't live by some obscure, beyond mortal minds philosophy. They just keep their minds open.

It really isn't true that we close our minds to things. Most of the time we're quite receptive to new ideas, technologies, attitudes and mindsets. "Receptive" being the operative word here. Without being fed information or told of a new perspective, most of us are quite happy just not knowing or not having an opinion. The way to open our minds is to continually reach out to the world and be inspired by anything and everything. Imagine if we get so used to hooking unrelated things up and creating new ideas, seeing things in a totally whacked way, "creativity" will come in an instant! Brainstorm sessions will be a thing of the past because it happens over lunch, in meetings, while waiting for a bus, all the time! What a brilliant and exciting place the world would be to live in. Think about it - ideas that excite you - perpetually!

How wonderfully invigourating for a change!

This entry in no way means to belittle the sentiments in jenn's entry.... but it really SUCKS when ALL you get - EVERYTIME - from playing in the pitiful drizzle is fucking pneumonia.

cb.

Fuck you. Fuck you all. I hope you have a happy life you miserable buggers. Piss off. Scram! I hate you! I hate you all!!!! *screeeeeaaaaaam*

Why is it that i'm caught in that FIVE mins that i turn my back? Five mins out of 4 freakin weekends! Life sucks. Its like I've had good luck in my previous lives and all the bad luck goes into this one. What the hell!!!

Cancer

Call it Procrastinitis, last-minutitis - whatever. Its a cancer and I've got it. BAD. And its like I can never learn my lesson. How hard exactly do I have to be hit to realise that I can't go on like that forever? Its like looking into a man-hole (as in drainage system, please focus on the right things here!), remembering how you broke your leg in 3 places when you last fell into it and then thinking "hmm.. ok let me step into it"

"We're so fucked. Totally and completely."~Tush

YES YES YES YES!!!

haha.. aiyoh.. haven't rooted for anyone like that in a long time.. Its nice to be that silly young thing again.. hehe

Sigh.. I'm so in love with him! hahaha "FREEDOM!"

One month.

Thanks for perspective, inspiration, faith.

One month.

Life

I can just live with it but what am i trying to prove and to whom and what for?

So tired.

The Devil Wears Prada is a fucking fairy tale. Go watch it.

Dedicated to all you guys out there who are trying to ride out a low. Youuuu are not aloooone...

Weekends

(Klüft/Perishers)

You don’t know me
But I’m sitting next to you
Every morning
On the bus or on the tube

You look tired
Would it help to hear me say
Don’t you worry
Friday’s not that far away?

On the weekends
We try to get our share
Of excitement and of fresh air
Trying to forget
Who we’re gonna be
When the alarm rings
On monday morning

If in the evening
All you do is watch TV
Cause your too tired for anything else
You’re just like me

Just remember
As you struggle through the day
Relief awaits you
Friday’s not that far away

Its been a month since.. and its been the lowest ever i've ever been. Trying to get out of it... wish me luck.. and i miss people!! Thank goodness for buffets and coffee sessions!

OST 260706

"Dakota"

Thinking back, thinking of you
Summertime think it was June
Yeah think it was June
Laying back, head on the grass
Chewing gum having some laughs
Yeah having some laughs.

You made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one
You made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one

Drinking back, drinking for two
Drinking with you
When drinking was new
Sleeping in the back of my car
We never went far
Didn't need to go far

You made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one
You made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one

I don’t know where we are going now
I don’t know where we are going now

Wake up call, coffee and juice
Remembering you
What happened to you?
I wonder if we’ll meet again
Talk about life since then
Talk about why did it end

You made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one
You made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one

I don’t know where we are going now
I don’t know where we are going now

So take a look at me now

Happy!

I loved last night!! Goondness.. its been a while since i've had so much fun that i'm hungover with happy.. haha. It really was a night that started off with so much possibility of independence, living a different life altogether.

Then it was a great set at home. Too bad it didnt end as beautifully as it started but the music made me feel so alive, just pulsing through my veins. Its always so amazing to see performers enthralled by their music, their creation. And to be able to share in that energy - its just so invigorating!


Then of course there is Poptart and great great company!

Fun really is living moments with the people you love. Its sharing that look as you scream the lyrics of the songs that exhilarates you. When you really live the high with others - one or two hundred.

Spread the love babes.. live it!

So we think we can

and.

Weird and Wonderful Dreams

So it goes like this...

Some guy I'm really close to.. like my dad or something.. falls to his death in a crumbling building and of course, the crumbling building crumbles on him. There are many a desperate moment where I am scouring for traces of him in the site. I am pregnant for some reason. Nic discovers a new method of sifting through the sand and we find a/our ring - 3 interlinked.

Cut to sometime later (or its another dream, I cannot tell).

I see an empty dump site. It feels like it's ground zero of the crumbling building. Its one in a whole row of empty dump sites and we (i presume these are my friends but they dont make an appearance and i dont know who these friends are) decide to redevelop the area. Voila! We have spanking new HOUSES. Everything looks bright and cheery with lots of yellow and bright orange colours on the walls and DRIVEWAY. Last thing to get rid of is the flies.. many small ones and I borrow a pesticide from my neighbour Andrew. To top it off is the fresh, flowery fragrance of the Moonflower scent from Bodyshop - in that frosted bottle and magenta cap that I love but do not have. I am joyful and contented. And proud of what I have done.

Cut to years back (and its probably another dream).

I am sharing a room with a roomate. It is a typical uni accom type of room. There is one big bed and one smaller. My stuff are on the smaller bed but its our first day and havent quite decided who gets what. Rather than have to choose, we call Kams to ask why we have different beds and if we can change the small one for a bigger one. Kams isn't happy. haha..

I wake up.

Weird and Wonderful Dreams

So it goes like this...

Some guy I'm really close to.. like my dad or something.. falls to his death in a crumbling building and of course, the crumbling building crumbles on him. There are many a desperate moment where I am scouring for traces of him in the site. I am pregnant for some reason. Nic discovers a new method of sifting through the sand and we find a/our ring - 3 interlinked.

Cut to sometime later (or its another dream, I cannot tell).

I see an empty dump site. It feels like it's the

Comfort

Ironic that it is in the place where there is most people that one’s privacy is least invaded. Where one has the freedom to do – rather not do – things and not have to consider the consequences on oneself.

On the streets, a constant buzz of activity, chatter, and rushing crowd lets you get away with idleness, minimal interaction and aimless wandering of your mind and feet. Lost in musing, speculating on the next trivial little thing that happens to cross your path. Like dried leaves of no consequence in the world anymore, that have no purpose to its existence, these fleeting ideas and conjectures come in and out of focus. A leaf – a silhouette – and its gone. A thought – a shadow of a thought – and its gone. And it doesn’t matter that nothing ever came out of it. Nothing was supposed to. There was nothing to be efficient about, no product to be derived other than the little frivolous extrapolation of reality that put that raised the corner of your eyes slightly.

“Mm.. wouldn’t I like to float around mindlessly all day…”

“That… was that a smile?...”

“Is my bra showing?!”

So maybe there are consequences. But they are still quite inconsequential.

Whom I think I am, I am not.

Is there worse?

Presenting Cheeks ...as jasmilyn monroe.

I love the genius of my friends ; )

"I Don't Know What I Can Save You From" - [Röyksopp Remix]

Its after dinner, I'm sat on my bed.. room's clean (embarrassingly, thanks to mom and dad), I've had a fantastic weekend (thanks babes!), a much loved night of rejuvenation and rest, true blue home cooked food (once again, thanks to mom & dad) and all it took was for this upbeat tune (those of you who have heard this song will know what i mean) to make me realise how truly blessed I am with all the beautiful things that have happened to me this past 24 hours.

Its only when all the great things come together in a perfect combination that you see how many wonderful people and experiences there are that occur in your Life everyday that you completely take for granted.

Has this come at a time when I need it most? I don't think so. It's not been that bad but there are a few whom I know are going through a really rough time and I really wish they'll be able to catch a glimpse of how fulfilling their lives can be and how loved they are. There really is something worth hanging on to!

And when you see such perfection, it's inevitable that you are also struck by the million and one stupid, dumb things you are so close to doing that will ruin it all. Which is good because then you know what you need to save yourself from.

May everyone be blessed with love and beauty and inspiration and a big beautiful smile everyday :) I love y'all!

Horror Scope

Aquarius

As far as the astrological powers-that-be are concerned, you have permission to play hooky. Whether their authorisation will carry any weight with your boss and the people who depend on you, I can't say. But the pure cosmic fact of the matter is that you should devote as much time as possible in the coming days to avoiding responsibility, following your whims and indulging in sweet pleasures that in no way serve the values of the cold, cruel, workday world. It's time to wander out into a field of wild flowers and chase butterflies. Or something similar.

- Astrology Section, I-S Magazine.. week of June 9 2006.


Such sweet torture.. toy with your mind, and your desires... all the while telling you that it's not gonna work out. Seems to be the trend these days.

Alternative Lifestyles

1. Plant turnips in Zimbabwe.

2. STOP THINKING JUST DO. STOPTHINKINGJUSTDO.STOPTHINKINGJUSTDO.STOPTHINKINGJUSTDO.STOPTHINKINGJUSTDO.STOPTHINKINGJUSTDO.STOPTHINKINGJUSTDO.STOPTHINKINGJUSTDO.STOPTHINKINGJUSTDO.STOPTHINKINGJUSTDO.STOPTHINKINGJUSTDO.STOPTHINKINGJUSTDO.STOPTHINKINGJUSTDO.STOPTHINKINGJUSTDO.STOPTHINKINGJUSTDO.STOPTHINKINGJUSTDO.STOPTHINKINGJUSTDO.STOPTHINKINGJUSTDO.STOPTHINKINGJUSTDO.STOPTHINKINGJUSTDO.STOPTHINKINGJUSTDO.

3.DO. do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.

Aha! Moments

Goodness.. it must have been EEEEEOOOONNNS since I last had the smarts. A flash of brilliance can make you so alive and full of adrenaline... imagine TWO in one night!!! Its Magical!!!

Its times like this that makes all the pain, frustration and grief worthwile...

I'm a FUCKING GENIUS!!
Wooo Hooo!!!
I ROCK!!!

What good is a life that is nothing but emotionless, experienceless efficiency? Sure you get through alot of things but none of which you remember, have any significance to you, and has no purpose other than to pave the way for more clinical and methodical living? Is life just one long to do list? Then what's at the end of the list? Die? Maybe thats why as productivity increases, suicide rates increase too. Before our allocated time is up, we've gone through the whole bloody list and reach the end. And we're so fucking efficient that we can't even let nature take its course. Better to do it ourselves. Then we can move on.

To Fucking What?

Full Circle

So it has come.. who woulda thought huh?

Yes, my dark eye circles are proper circles now.. even the eyelids are dark.. like what the hell?

I really need to sleep properly.. but nothing seems to work.. silence, music, pitch darkness, what else? I can't keep on wasting 6 hrs everyday in a state of unconsciousness but not getting any rest out of it... worse still, the day is ruined coz the drained batteries cant run anymore...


if anyone has tips that dont come from spam mail, please help!!

I don't get many things right the first timeIn fact, I am told that a lotNow I know all the wrong turns, the stumbles and fallsBrought me hereAnd where was I before the dayThat I first saw your lovely face?Now I see it everydayAnd I knowThat I amI amI amThe luckiestWhat if I'd been born fifty years before youIn a house on a street where you lived?Maybe I'd be outside as you passed on your bikeWould I know?And in a white sea of eyesI see one pair that I recognizeAnd I knowThat I amI amI amThe luckiestI love you more than I have ever found a way to say to youNext door there's an old man who lived to his ninetiesAnd one day passed away in his sleepAnd his wife; she stayed for a couple of daysAnd passed awayI'm sorry, I know that's a strange way to tell you that I know we belongThat I knowThat I amI amI amThe luckiest

-The Luckiest, Ben Folds

a self indulgent wallow.

It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do...

To open up my eyes
and look at all my To-Dos...

Waking up can be the most wonderful experiences in Life. Provided you get to go back to sleep immediately. Otherwise, it's probably the single most excruciating pain that we indulge in. Not helped by the fact that we have to go through it nearly everyday.

Sure, its a sweeping statement. Waking up can be full of hope, anticipation, excitement of whats to come in the day :) Just let me go back to sleep after that.

Space - A time and place to be intimate with oneself.

Clutter-less.

Noise-less.

Chatter-less.

Peace.

Rare.

Precious.

When was the last time you were with yourself?

Silly girls' nights out!!

Most fun to go totally silly and, for some, get picked up by little boys.. TWICE no less.. haha

I love you babes! We SO should do this more often. Cannot get old!!

Ruined

I wake up in bed at 1am and think its time to go to work.

I wake up in bed at 730am, think of the signages that need to be changed, what is the correct title to put up.

I wake up in bed at 735am and worry if I had forgotten to burn the bgm.

I cant go back to bed.

its 1.32pm

I'm getting my life back again!!!

oh boys.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dUMwGtuTQwU

oh boys.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dUMwGtuTQwU

Precious conversation..

You~ Because I am who you perceive me to be and I am nothing without you. says:
is it coat-of-arms?
You~ Because I am who you perceive me to be and I am nothing without you. says:
the shield type things?
jenn: wjy had better be right says:
the symbol of the two things going at it and usually on shields
jenn: wjy had better be right says:
yup

"I feel like eating the world so that that they won't annoy me"

you the best babe.

haha

Life could be so easy...

If we all knew what we had to do and followed through without a single doubt that we are right. There wouldn't be a need for choices because there are no alternatives.

There would be no speculation, just certainty.

There would be no fear of rejection or reproach because you know that it is right the thing to do.

Thus criticism will lose its bite, bribery will be useless.

So what happens when completely opposite ideas meet head on?

In the bigger scheme of things, I guess this wouldn't work out very well.

Otherwise, I think I could use abit of that mindless resolve now.

Enough for now.

If you had a crystal ball, could you really not look into it?

I found a blog today. Sweetest thing ever. Not that its necessarily happy. I dont actually know how to describe it.. "sweet" really is too saccharine. haha..

Yet it is the most lovely, romantic, swoonable writing that you cant dismiss as frivolous because it is so heartfelt, genuine and painful.

I am amazed that there are still people out there who can express themselves so beautifully through words, even when accompanied by pictures. That someone bothers to put in any effort to communicate feelings in their purest, truest form. carefully chosen words, semantics, images that say exactly what is to be said in the correct intensity, to the right extend. so precise that the words themselves fade into the background and its the power of the message that hits you right in the gut or gently caresses your cheek.

And I will not share this blog address for if it should be read by someone who cannot appreciate its quality and eloquence, it will forever be cheapened.

haha.. i'm such an unforgiving, selfish bitch aren't i?

ambition

Calv. - It's business as usual... Nothing personal, just business says:
i dun wan to study
Calv. - It's business as usual... Nothing personal, just business says:
i wan to strike toto
Boo~ says:
haha
Boo~ says:
me too babe
Calv. - It's business as usual... Nothing personal, just business says:
lets be professional gamblers when the casino comes up
Calv. - It's business as usual... Nothing personal, just business says:
god of gamblers
Calv. - It's business as usual... Nothing personal, just business says:
goddness of gambers
Boo~ says:
haha
Calv. - It's business as usual... Nothing personal, just business says:
yea. ;lets both be GOGs
Boo~ says:
gogs..
Calv. - It's business as usual... Nothing personal, just business says:
yea. [G]od/dess [O]f [G]amblers
Boo~ says:
i know that..
Calv. - It's business as usual... Nothing personal, just business says:
ok
Boo~ GOG by profession. says:
there you go.
Calv. - It's business as usual... Nothing personal, just business says:
lol. ok. anyway i had to clarrify to tell u mah
Calv. - It's business as usual... Nothing personal, just business says:
if anything
Calv. - It's business as usual... Nothing personal, just business says:
i learnt never to ASSUME anything wif gers
Boo~ GOG by profession. says:
haha
Boo~ GOG by profession. says:
good thing to remember
Calv. - It's business as usual... Nothing personal, just business says:
yea. i hereby confer upon u, the honorable title of...
Calv. - It's business as usual... Nothing personal, just business says:
a GOG

The way Fridays should be

Woke up with Rihana's Replay in my head. Lovely ;)

Party time guys!

most cute even though i dont understand most of it ; )

Eartha Kitt - Je Cherche Un Homme Lyrics


Je cherche un homme, un homme, un homme
Un Pierre, ou Paul, un Jacques, ou Tom
Mais n'importe comment il se nomme
S'il est un homme, homme, homme

Je n'exige pas un ???
Qui s' ??? dans les salons
Ni un type fort comme un Samson
Pourvu que j'ai un «mate » un ???

Il n'a pas besoin d'etre un milliardaire
Qu'il soit beau, non ca m'est egale
Il n'a pas besoin d'etre un grand lumiere
star du cinema, ni prince royal

Je cherche un homme, un homme, un homme
Qu'il s'appelle Pierre, ou Paul, ou Tom
Pourvu qu'il donne son maximum
Je cherche un homme, un homme, un homme

Doesn't have to be prince or movie-star
A Texas oilman, or a French marquis
Doesn't have to be handsome as a picture
An ordinary guy is allright with me

Je cherche un hommme, un homme, un homme
Qu'il s'appelle Pierre, ou Paul, ou Tom
Pourvu qu'il donne son maximum
Je cherche un homme, un homme, un homme

Je cherche un homme, un homme, un homme

Never enough

10 hours.. T.E.N. hours and I'm still needing more..

gee.

http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/singaporelocalnews/view/200805/1/.html

Goodness.. are we really really letting such naive people lead us into the future??

If they really believe in what they say then they're sadly misguided and living with their heads in a cumulonimbus cloud.

If this is their idea of PR skill.. I can't believe that they already feel like they can get away with saying things like this when they've just been introduced. Not a stitch of humility (fake or otherwise) and already asserting that they're hardworking.

We really are such suckers right.

Envy

There was only quiet for a moment and you could hear the wheels churning in the minds of the office workers, silently plotting their escape to the weekend. It presented an opportunity to muse about having nothing to muse about, a little introspection perhaps. There was quiet for only a moment.

Then there was something that solved that little problem of nothing to feel much about lately. Envy - that horrible, evil, greedy, hateful feeling was unleashed in full force on a lonely girl with her single paper cup of coffee.

WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE RUNNING AROUND WITH SUITCASES RUSHING TO CATCH A CRUISE HOLIDAY ON A FRIDAY MORNING???!!!

Ear piercing shrill of kids flaunting their lack of responsibility and care, grating grind of luggage wheels on the floor that seemed to slope down towards the cruise center as if they weren't getting there enough! Pink, red, yellow, blue bags and straw hats! And the worst -

"Wouldnt it be nice if we had left yesterday instead?"

Russian Dolls

Brilliant. You bet its a better date movie than Date Movie.

Enjoy!

Transamerica

Came out of this one in the same mood as Brokeback. Not sure what to feel about the ending but knowing that it was an excellent movie.

Alot of themes in there and Felicity Huffman is an amazing actress - a woman acting as a man acting as a woman. All the subtleties and imagery used are so apt for the points the movie tries to make. Add to that a healthy dose humour and realism and its no wonder its an Oscar nominee.


Plus it smelt good in there.

A little melancholy for the day

And it came to me then that every plan
Is a tiny prayer to father time
As I stared at my shoes in the ICU
That reeked of piss and 409
And I rationed my breaths as I said to myself
That I’ve already taken too much today
As each descending peak on the LCD
Took you a little farther away from me
Away from me

Amongst the vending machines and year-old magazines
In a place where we only say goodbye
It stung like a violent wind that our memories depend
On a faulty camera in our minds
And I knew that you were a truth I would rather lose
Than to have never lain beside at all
And I looked around at all the eyes on the ground
As the TV entertained itself

‘Cause there’s no comfort in the waiting room
Just nervous pacers bracing for bad news
And then the nurse comes ‘round and everyone lift their heads
But I’m thinking of what Sarah said

That love is watching someone die

So who’s gonna watch you die?

- What Sarah Said,
Deathcab for Cutie

One

Trevor Jalla is an amazing performer. Between the goofy grins and that twisting left leg is man and music in one. What flows from heart to hand to guitar flows back into a sound that, while created by legends before him, in that moment, belongs to Trevor Jalla and Trevor Jalla only. Perhaps that's why he's able to play all that blues in his own style and still make it work. He is so familiar and comfortable with the music that he can manipulate it to create something that is his own.

"Come on Trevor, speak to us. Speak to us in Guitar-ese"

A Real Charmer

" I see a 36-24-36 happening!

Stop right there!
You have the right to remain luscious.
Anything you say will make me hold you against me."

- guess who

"We are demonstrating in order to protect press freedom in Kenya. Press freedom in Kenya is under siege," Raila Odinga

"The freedoms of Kenyans and of the media are not favours from the government... A government that does not respect the freedom of speech must go," William Ruto

"Anybody who is infringing on press freedom must go," Kalonzo Musyoka

Tell me again - we are more advanced than them?

Hmm. been thinking of posting something for a while but wasn't really inspired by anything that's happened in my life. thats not to say that nothing's happened of course.. if anything... haha

i dont wanna jinx it. but things have gone well, i'm thankful for that.

and then there's jake gyllenhaal and heath ledger. thankful for them too ; )

I love you more than words can wield the matter;
Dearer than eyesight, space, and liberty;
Beyond what can be valued, rich or rare;
No less than life, with grace, health, beauty, honour;
A love that makes breath poor, and speech unable.
Beyond all manner of so much I love you.

I profess Myself an enemy to all other joys
Which the most precious square of sense possesses,
And find I am alone felicitate In your love.


Now, our joy, Although the last, not least; to whose young love
The vines of France and milk of Burgundy Strive to be interest; what can you say to draw
A third more opulent?

Nothing.

Nothing?

Nothing.

Nothing can come of nothing. Speak again.

Unhappy that I am, I cannot heave
My heart into my mouth. I love you
According to my bond; no more nor less.

You have begot me, bred me, lov'd me;
I Return those duties back as are right fit,
Obey you, love you, and most honour you.

But goes thy heart with this?
So young, and so untender?

So young, my lord, and true.

Let it be so! thy truth then be thy dower!

Company and crowd

Company's hard to figure out sometimes.. hardly get it right. Dont usually have a problem nowadays, but tonight.. when i'm still running on India time, it kinda snuck up on me. missing something? Most probably. Alot of people. They might know.

Could always appreciate it though. Just tonight is abit hard to get through for some reason.

The still is daunting and blasting music comforts not.
Let me go to sleep.

anyone recognizes this?

wake up. and watch the sunrise
your day, its just begun
and your first thought, of tomorrow
are of the things that must be done

when you fall asleep tonight
what will it be that makes you smile
is it the light thats in your eyes
as you face the challenges down

when you find whats deep inside
that keeps you going on
when you find you love your life
what's more that can't be done

there are days that put you off
nothing moves at all
the world is dead and so on
do you believe or will you fall

keep in touch with me
tell me all your stories
of the victories in your dreams
that we can make reality

tomorrow when you wake
listen to the call
if you waver if you break
your love, your pride - will take the fall

*Happy*

I need a place of my own.

If just to work.

on the plane...

There are some movies about living Life that leaves a narrator in your head. Elizabethtown was one. And now I want to go on a road trip. Haha. Just the music, the roads & me. Guess there's something peaceful in that moving solitude that comes from travelling alone.

I think it's about time l took care of myself and stop taking things for granted. It's abit easy to slip into that comfort with laziness.









Flying into singapore
Manicured golf courses
neatly arranged chemical drums
streets painfully clear

WELCOME TO HOME

Wanderlust

Taste of Paris in a Thin French Crepe

Dark pleasures in white ceramic

Memories on a plate

Time Passed

Bittersweet.

22

the way it should be .. hehe.. ringing ears, smoked hair, bubbly and amazing fun with amazing people..

Thanks... and what a great way to wake up.. Mornings should be this lovely everyday.

And thank you, its a beautiful cd.

cheers to Living Life!

Sarah Mclachlan

What ravages of spiritconjured this temptuous rage,
created you a monster,broken by the rule of love?
And fate has led you through it.
You do what you have to do.
And fate has led you through it.
You do what you have to do.
And I have the sense to recognize
that I don't know how to let you go.

Every moment marked
with apparitions of your soul.
I'm ever swiftly moving,
trying to escape this desire,
the yearning to be near you.
I do what I have to do.
The yearning to be near you.
I do what I have to do.

And I have the sense to recognize
that I don't know how to let you go.
I don't know how to let you go.

A glowing ember, burning hot,
And burning slow.
Deep within, I'm shaken by the violence of existing for only you.
I know I can't be with you.
I do what I have to do.
I know I can't be with you.
I do what I have to do.

And I have the sense to recognize
But I don't know how to let you go.
I don't know how to let you go.

This house will abolish compulsory savings

here.. have some guts and debate this

its meritocracy isnt it? you dont save hard, you dont get to buy a big house. if you're too stupid to save, then you deserve to live on the streets.

Why should I save money that i can only use when i am seriously ill, dead (in which case whatever death taxes doesnt take away i can use to pay for cremation) or forever sell my life to HDB / COE

if you don't like it, leave, some would say. and my answer: Sure. If I ever have enough money after paying cpf.

Home

Its been a while since I've felt the "homliness" of home.. mom-cooked food, the bed, the room, jsut the familiarity of it all. It was very comforting.. felt like i can be the little girl and be taken care of.. haha.. its probably left over from bkk...

but its a nice feeling nonetheless.. to be taken care of...

and i have forgotten what i really wanted to put on this post.. so i shall sleep on it and see if it finds its way out again..

ciao!

something beautiful in the rain

"The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected. Maybe they always have been and will be. Maybe we'e lived a thousand lives before this one and in each of them we've found each other. And maybe each time, we've been forced apart for the same reasons. that means that this goodbye is both a goodbye for the past ten thousand years and a prelude to what will come.

When I look at you, I see your beauty and grace and know they have grown stronger with every life you have lived. And I know I have spent every life before this one searching for you. Not someone like you, but you, for your soul and mine must always come together. And then, for some reason neither of us understands, we've been forced to say goodbye.

I would love to tell you that everything will work out for us, and I promise to do everything I can to make sure it does. But if we never meet again and this is truly goodbye, I know we will see each other again in another life. We will find each other again, and maybe the stars will have changed and we will not only love each other in that time, but for all the times we've had before."

a little bit of think, a little bit of feel

Everyone has their own type of luck. some get what they need when they need, some have strong faith, some are always in the right place at the right time, some are content. Me, I have opportunity. And complete disregard for convention.

For which I am immensely thankful. There really is nothing more important to me than the chances i hve been given to excel and be different. And to have anyone at all who believes that I can do it.

So the resolution this year is not to disappoint.

Yet I am who I am and must stay this way. There are some things that I cannot compromise on. I hope you understand.

2005 The Year in Review

Not.

Don't think its time yet.

How does one dislike home so much and still stick around? Hypocrisy?

go figure

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved. You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring. You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic. Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets. Your risk of cheating is 100%. You are not suited for a monogamous relationship. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as something you can get or discard anytime. You're feeling self centered.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

The Magic Numbers

I See You You See Me

I never thought I could love you, but that's okay
I always knew that you'd leave me anyway
But darling when I see you, I see me
I asked the boys if they'd let me go out and play
They always said that you'd hurt me anyway
But darling when I see you, I see me

And it's alright, I never thought I'd fall in love again
It's alright, I look to you as my only friend
It's alright I never thought that I could feel this something, rising rising in my veins
Looks like it's happened again

I never thought that you wanted for me to stay
So I left you with the girls that came your way
And darling when I see you I see me
I often thought that you'd be better off left alone
Why throw a circle round a man with broken bones?
But darling when I see you I see me

But it's alright, I never thought I'd fall in love again
It's alright, I look to you as my only friend
It's alright I never thought that I could feel this something, rising rising in my veins
Looks like it's happened again

You always looked like you had something else on your mind
When I try to tell you you tell me never mind
And darling when I see you, you see me
I wanna tell you that I never loved anyone else
You wanna tell me that you're better off by yourself
But darling when I see you, you see me

Oh-ooh ooh oh-ooh...
This is not what I'm like, this is not what I do
This is not what I'm like, I think i'm falling for you
This is not what I'm like, this is not what I do
This is not what I'm like, I think i'm falling for you

This is not what I'm like, this is not what I do
This is not what I'm like, I think i'm falling for you
This is not what I'm like, this is not what I do
This is not what I'm like, I think i'm falling for you

I never thought
I never thought
I never thought
I never thought

I never thought that I could feel this something
Rising rising in my veins, and it looks like
I feel this something rising rising in my veins
Looks like it's happened again

aday

a day of reminiscence

a night of excitement and losing oneself

a dark, sultry morning

I go to sleep

Takeaways

If there's nothing else that I've learnt through this experience that are important, its these two things:

1 - there are many things that i do not want to know. Ignorance is bliss and denial rocks.

2 - i have not the strength to push for changes that are not wanted. there is no way to win against rationality and measured, balanced arguments that present both sides of the story in equal amounts. my reaction is destructive to too much.

so it will be as such. no more. this is the end.

no wonder singaporeans lead such a happy life.

I protest the hanging of drug traffickers.

Anger? Disappointment? Exasperation? I dont know what it is but i NEVER want to feel that way again. I hope it was for the sake of argument. Please dont say its something you believe in because it is not something I can live with.

It is not naievety. I refuse to believe that it is foolish idealism.

Drug Traffickers are NOT murderers.
They are not soley responsible for the social problems associated with drug consumption.
If you want to hang them, then its only fair to hang the consumers too. Why should they be given a second chance?
We should not condone drug trafficking but the punishment should be fair.

Capital punishment for drug trafficking is NOT FAIR.

This started off as a response to a comment...

hmm.. abit disappointed here.. if Dr Chee doesnt call for international support, who can he call on? Singaporeans? Opps, did i just hear a fart? the very fact of the matter is that Singaporeans are ok with the death penalty either because they dont give squat or because they think its never gonna happen to them. Thats why they can just suck up the propoganda about sovereignty (how many people really understand this word) and how its a deterrent? how many have read reports that prove this right or wrong? Not enough. there is no "WE" here. What is here are moral sluts who will adopt whatever set of values is most beneficial to them. Trafficking drugs is NOT the same as a murderer. drug addicts choose to take drugs, bomb blast victims dont choose to die. if drug pushers should be sentenced to death, so should teachers coz they rob us of the ability to think. and they dont even get you high.

Nguyen should not be pardoned. The Law should be changed. But it ain't never gonna be a Singaporean who does it.

7.22am

It was chilly, slow, refreshing, comforting. Like Leeds.

Pink Floyd

Wish You Were Here
So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell,
blue skies from pain.
Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail? A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?

And did they get you trade your heroes for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees? Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change? And did you exchange
a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?

How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year,
running over the same old ground. What have we found?
The same old fears,
wish you were here.

'papa was a rollin stone.. wherever he laid his hat was home..'

saw my ideal apartment, cheesy romantic movie, comepletely lost control.

now.

stop.

what's real?

hmm.

Funny how i'm more upset with them losing than i'm happy with them winning.

No Kidding.

Jasmine, you're an Indulgent Eater

You, more than others, truly gain satisfaction from eating. And because of this, you sometimes have difficulty slowing down or just saying no. You enjoy eating and what's great about that is you understand how to appreciate certain aspects of food that others do not. You see food as more than just a source of nutrition or energy. For you, dining, or just plain eating, can be a really enjoyable experience. On the downside, however, you might sometimes indulge too much in the satisfaction you get from eating.

up

the wind, chillingly rouses.
thoughts slide, one to another
in the way of comfort

'if you are unable to fall asleep in 15 mins, get up and do something quiet.'

seeing as i'm not supposed to do anything bright coz it prevents sleeping, i'm gonna type this with my eyes closed. will edit typos at the end.

so. what do you do when you realise whats wrong. when for some reaon, it has finally sunk in. two things - you change, because that is what is expected. or you go on as before, because perhaps that is who you truly are. i mean.. you wouldn't have been that way for no reason right?

i know if someone told me that i should change because it makes things better and because it makes me better, instinctively, i would ask - but that isnt me is it? i am the way i am because thats the way i am. so why should i change? because it makes me better? why doesn't it fly with me then? too afraid to lose myself? but why? there never was a me anyway.

thats just me i guess. ornery me. cannot live happily. cannot agree with anything. rebel without a cause.

there's just no satisfying.

or maybe i'm just too scared to try to prove anything to anyone coz i'm too fucking scared that i'll end up proving to myself that i'll never make it. fear of failure. becaue i am the way i am and thats me. its never gonna change. now how do you fight that?

can

think

believe

do

make change

Thought of the day

When you've spent your whole life needing to find perfection, knowing that nothing else will do, you might realize one day that there will never be a second best. Settling is no longer something you will not do, but cannot do.

And when that day comes, you will be the saddest person on earth because there is no such thing as perfection.

And since there is no second best, you will have nothing.

Will you settle now?

I'll never find..

Candy in my pocket... i dont wear pockets anymore

I'll never find...

Old songs that sneak up on you and leaves you with a small smile

You are far, when I could have been your star

You listened to people Who scared you to death, and from my heart

Strange that you were strong enough

To even make a start

But you'll never find peace of mind

Till you listen to your heart
People, you can never change the way they feel

Better let them do just what they will

For they will, If you let them

Steal your heart from you People,Will always make a lover feel a fool

But you knew I loved you We could have shown them all

We should have seen love through
Fooled me with the tears in your eyes

Covered me with kisses and lies So good-bye, but please don't take my heart

You are far, I'm never gonna be your star

I'll pick up the pieces and mend my heart

Maybe I'll be strong enough, I don't know where to start

But I'll never find peace of mind, while I listen to my heart

People, you can never change the way they feel

Better let them do just what they will

For they will,

If you let them, steal your heart

And people, will always make a lover feel a fool

But you knew I loved you, We could have shown them all

We should have seen love through
But remember this, every other kiss, That you ever give, long as we both live

When you need the hand of another man

One you really can surrender with

I will wait for you, like I always do

There's something there, that can't compare

With any other

You are far

When I could have been your star

You listened to people

Who scared you to death, and from my heartS

trange that I was wrong enough

To think you'd love me too.

I guess you were kissing a fool

You must have been kissing a fool

-George Michael

Best

2024 is real. is true.

Oh boy.

Oh boy.

Happy

I'd rather dance with you than talk with you, so why don't we just move into the other room. There's space for us to shake, and 'hey, I like this tune'. Even if I could hear what you said, I doubt my reply would be interesting for you to hear. Because I haven't read a single book all year, and the only film I saw, I didn't like it at all. I'd rather dance than talk with you.The music's too loud and the noise from the crowd increases the chance of misinterpretation. So let your hips do the talking. I'll make you laugh by acting like the guy who sings, and you'll make me smile by really getting into the swing. I'd rather dance than talk with you.
Smile

TKOC

We Rubbish

Xiang Dang Nian.... haha.. yeah.. sure was a night of good food and definitely good fun. Friends to rubbish around are few and far between.. thanks guys!

Over and Over

Same old same old

Time

Gripe

eRxEcAuSsOeNsS

Too Long
Too Late

deNsEpEeDrate to

getoutleavemigratezouexitlikai

Fuck off to

Life.

Screw Security
Screw Stability
Screw Sanity
Screw Sensibility
Screw YOU