The Elusive -
Twice, I have been left high and dry.
Without the thrill slithering down my throat.
Without the salty-metallic ocean taste in my mouth.
Frustrated.
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Sunday, August 28, 2005
flavour
Mmm ... licorice! Strong and edgy, you're the flavor of black jellybeans and Good 'n' Plentys. Some people absolutely love you (in fact, they might even find you addictive), but you're definitely not for everyone. But that's okay with you — you'd rather pick and choose your companions. When you have time for friends at all, that is. Powerful and very potent, you're goal-oriented and ambitious — you don't let much stand in your way. There's nothing sweet or sugary about you; you're a serious taste that's best suited for the truly focused. Lingering, enigmatic, and a little hard to pin down, you're a truly tantalizing treat.
career type
ENFP
That means that based on the standard measure of personality traits, you have strong organizational and project management skills. When others lose sight of the big picture, you help them to stay focused to see what's important and weed out unnecessary details. You are most fulfilled by your work when you are allowed to think creatively and consider new approaches to work. You are not afraid to take calculated risks and see mistakes or failures as opportunity for growth.
You have a diverse array of interests and are even regarded as a Renaissance type of person. You possess an inspiring zest for life and abound with creativity. You seek venues to express your thoughts and feelings. Your personality and beliefs shine through in most of the work you do.
Room style. haha
Modern
Sometimes less really is more. A modern style like yours tends to be refreshingly clutter-free and all about simple lines. Maybe you use square, pop-up baskets to hide laundry or have straightforward twill bedding in a monochromatic hue. Simplicity is for you.
While you may get overwhelmed when everyday clutter starts accumulating on flat surfaces (don't we all?), you're also probably pretty organized. Which may be why the people who know you like to congregate in your spare, calm surroundings. Maybe you set the tone with a steel desk lamp and keep disarray at bay with great-looking storage boxes. We're guessing you pretty much have a place for everything and that translates into a room that perfectly reflects your clean, modern style.
career type
ENFP
That means that based on the standard measure of personality traits, you have strong organizational and project management skills. When others lose sight of the big picture, you help them to stay focused to see what's important and weed out unnecessary details. You are most fulfilled by your work when you are allowed to think creatively and consider new approaches to work. You are not afraid to take calculated risks and see mistakes or failures as opportunity for growth.
You have a diverse array of interests and are even regarded as a Renaissance type of person. You possess an inspiring zest for life and abound with creativity. You seek venues to express your thoughts and feelings. Your personality and beliefs shine through in most of the work you do.
Room style. haha
Modern
Sometimes less really is more. A modern style like yours tends to be refreshingly clutter-free and all about simple lines. Maybe you use square, pop-up baskets to hide laundry or have straightforward twill bedding in a monochromatic hue. Simplicity is for you.
While you may get overwhelmed when everyday clutter starts accumulating on flat surfaces (don't we all?), you're also probably pretty organized. Which may be why the people who know you like to congregate in your spare, calm surroundings. Maybe you set the tone with a steel desk lamp and keep disarray at bay with great-looking storage boxes. We're guessing you pretty much have a place for everything and that translates into a room that perfectly reflects your clean, modern style.
Wo. Mad.
This year was definitely different from the rest. From a more positive perspective, it was a very chill-out Womad this year. Nice Reggae, nomad-type chanting music.
The way I see it - No Bang. It was quite a letdown.. but most of it was my fault coz I'd counted on it being one crazy night out post-conf. Guess I expected to lose myself in it and when it wasn't what I wanted, the letdown closed my mind to what might have been good.
The way I see it - No Bang. It was quite a letdown.. but most of it was my fault coz I'd counted on it being one crazy night out post-conf. Guess I expected to lose myself in it and when it wasn't what I wanted, the letdown closed my mind to what might have been good.
Saturday, August 27, 2005
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Can this be real.. can this be true?
Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?
Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.
Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?
Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.
Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
A girl's time..
I am in need of comfort!! Top of the list now seems to be a nice warm bolster.. sigh.. not the cranky japanese boyfriend type... those are just too freaky. But yeah, something to wrap yourself around and of course, a thick, soft, warm blankie.. sigh.. *utter bliss*
Monday, August 15, 2005
Sunday, August 14, 2005
Bad news... and all you govt-related friends of mine - don't linger here long enough to get traced.
I'm sorry guys.. It really depresses me to make this announcement, although you might already have heard about it.
There will be no second public holiday this August.
It would have been an exciting experience for all of us, especially those who just turned 21 and would have had the honour of voting for the first, and quite possibly only time in our lives. Except for the luck ones living in the token opposition constituencies. You have no idea how proud you should be to have a hand in deciding that you should never be the first to have your estate upgraded.
No wonder I didn't receive the letter informing where I should go to vote. Kudos to the Elections Department for saving so many trees that would have been cut down for no good reason.
That aside, I figured, hey, maybe I should find out more about our President (this was not inspired by the TT Durai episode, during which I bitched to death about how if you dont bother to find out about others, don't complain when they don't meet your expectations). So I googled our President's name. I must admit that this is one of the most unreliable channels of information. Always double check with the Istana stie, it should have the most reliable info. The link should show as one of the first Google results.
I think after a good many sites that I visited, I've learnt alot. That the decision to issue the Certificate of Eligibility was based on a complete truth. None of the candidates have, or could have been through so many government departments - from social worker to Labour Research to the Foreign Ministry to Home Affairs to the Security & Intelligence Division to SPH.
And to all those who said that he never contributed anything to the country, guess you didn't know that he volunteered to be a hostage when the JRA attacked the oil tanks on pulau bukom in 1974 so that the civillian hostages could be released. And this is not some cooked up publicity gimmick. google it. or visit http://www.un.org/terrorism/statements/singaporeE.html (small mention of it in para 10)
So there you go. A true Public Servant, well-acquainted with how the govt works and how he fits into the grand scheme of things, a man of chivalry. There is no alternative to such a candidate. There is no need to vote.
There will be no second public holiday this August.
It would have been an exciting experience for all of us, especially those who just turned 21 and would have had the honour of voting for the first, and quite possibly only time in our lives. Except for the luck ones living in the token opposition constituencies. You have no idea how proud you should be to have a hand in deciding that you should never be the first to have your estate upgraded.
No wonder I didn't receive the letter informing where I should go to vote. Kudos to the Elections Department for saving so many trees that would have been cut down for no good reason.
That aside, I figured, hey, maybe I should find out more about our President (this was not inspired by the TT Durai episode, during which I bitched to death about how if you dont bother to find out about others, don't complain when they don't meet your expectations). So I googled our President's name. I must admit that this is one of the most unreliable channels of information. Always double check with the Istana stie, it should have the most reliable info. The link should show as one of the first Google results.
I think after a good many sites that I visited, I've learnt alot. That the decision to issue the Certificate of Eligibility was based on a complete truth. None of the candidates have, or could have been through so many government departments - from social worker to Labour Research to the Foreign Ministry to Home Affairs to the Security & Intelligence Division to SPH.
And to all those who said that he never contributed anything to the country, guess you didn't know that he volunteered to be a hostage when the JRA attacked the oil tanks on pulau bukom in 1974 so that the civillian hostages could be released. And this is not some cooked up publicity gimmick. google it. or visit http://www.un.org/terrorism/statements/singaporeE.html (small mention of it in para 10)
So there you go. A true Public Servant, well-acquainted with how the govt works and how he fits into the grand scheme of things, a man of chivalry. There is no alternative to such a candidate. There is no need to vote.
foot-in-mouth disease
I always do it, don't I? Sometimes you get so used to saying the things you say that it becomes a thoughtless, automatic reaction that, while not untruthful, does not help the situation you're in.
**
"You 23& 21 year old girls are single by choice" This conclusion is something I usually have to go through alot of whiney rationalisation to get to... remember those sleepovers? haha.. Still, tonight, it was something that I could agree to without hesitation. Perhaps because it didnt sound like an accusation. Still, it does sound like I want to "stay on the shelf" but it honestly (and quite obviously i think.. heh)isn't the case. Let's just say ..hmm.. how to say this in a non-desperate way... I won't fight it if it happens.
**
"You 23& 21 year old girls are single by choice" This conclusion is something I usually have to go through alot of whiney rationalisation to get to... remember those sleepovers? haha.. Still, tonight, it was something that I could agree to without hesitation. Perhaps because it didnt sound like an accusation. Still, it does sound like I want to "stay on the shelf" but it honestly (and quite obviously i think.. heh)isn't the case. Let's just say ..hmm.. how to say this in a non-desperate way... I won't fight it if it happens.
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
babooshka hair
i swear i'm not one of those with a case of the smarts. maybe my brain lacks something.. maybe i lack a brain. if the powers that be made my gut bigger than my brain, shouldnt i be using my gut more often? I've obviously got more to spare.
I am hilarious
I am hilarious
Lately
Its been a good couple of weeks. I think the good stuff's outweighed the bad and I really do hope I can keep it going. Unfortunately, it seems to stem from alot of impromtu decisions, gut reactions and sometimes real brainlessness.. haha.. maybe being smart is not my thing. "if at first you don't succeed, try and try again. if you still fail, then maybe success is not your thing" Same principle.. haha.. but I don't think I have a major problem with it.
So thanks heaps to everyone, whether or not they know how much better they've made my life! I am blessed to have you guys around ; )
So thanks heaps to everyone, whether or not they know how much better they've made my life! I am blessed to have you guys around ; )
Thursday, August 04, 2005
Sunday, July 31, 2005
: )
sometimes when you're just waking up from the sweetest dream and in that two or three seconds you really wonder if it did happen.. and before you even open your eyes there is a goofy smile on your face.
then the good old brain starts waking up.. and the smile becomes a little wistful.. and you wish it was all true and beautiful.
and you start thinking.. and you realise then that even if it were all guaranteed to be exactly as it was in the dream, it would not have been enough for you to let it happen..
how do you describe that look?
then the good old brain starts waking up.. and the smile becomes a little wistful.. and you wish it was all true and beautiful.
and you start thinking.. and you realise then that even if it were all guaranteed to be exactly as it was in the dream, it would not have been enough for you to let it happen..
how do you describe that look?
Sobriety
I need to stop drinking. Alcohol tolerance is too high and its getting expensive to get drunk. and need to find places that serve stronger stuff... goodness... 3 shots and no high... this is in addition to 4 cocktails... bummer. the stuff is so weak its embarassing.
Friday, July 29, 2005
Please go watch sin city
i have never had a movie blow my mind away like that... its got the romance of film noir and the era, the good ol' macho-hero attitude that i love, everyone is clear about their motivation, a healthy dose of good vs evil and splattered blood and gore.. and man when he ripped his balls off... it looked fucking painful i'll tell ya.
and yet in the clarity of the plot and each character's throughline, i was always confused. do i laugh, cringe or cry at the same thing?
and yet in the clarity of the plot and each character's throughline, i was always confused. do i laugh, cringe or cry at the same thing?
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
revisiting old times
Staying home alone on a Friday
Flat on the floor looking back
On old love
Or lack thereof
After all the crushes are faded
And all my wishful thinking was wrong
I'm jaded
I hate it
I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
Searching all my days just to find you
I'm not sure who I'm looking for
I'll know it
When I see you
Until then, I'll hide in my bedroom
Staying up all night just to write
A love song for no one
I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
I could have met you in a sandbox
I could have passed you on the sidewalk
Could I have missed my chance
And watched you walk away?
I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
You'll be so good
You'll be so good for me
-John Mayer
I miss songs with lyrics :) they're somehow more.. specific,less gut but no less real. also less anonymous.
Flat on the floor looking back
On old love
Or lack thereof
After all the crushes are faded
And all my wishful thinking was wrong
I'm jaded
I hate it
I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
Searching all my days just to find you
I'm not sure who I'm looking for
I'll know it
When I see you
Until then, I'll hide in my bedroom
Staying up all night just to write
A love song for no one
I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
I could have met you in a sandbox
I could have passed you on the sidewalk
Could I have missed my chance
And watched you walk away?
I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
You'll be so good
You'll be so good for me
-John Mayer
I miss songs with lyrics :) they're somehow more.. specific,less gut but no less real. also less anonymous.
Thursday, July 21, 2005
Lately...
Feels a little chilly...
a little english..
reminiscing...
Won't you feel weird not coming back to uni this September?
a little english..
reminiscing...
Won't you feel weird not coming back to uni this September?
Monday, July 18, 2005
Tomorrow...
Tomorrow never comes, what kind of a fool do you take me for?
- a line from Bugsy Malone
So I will
not slack
make a list of my task
finish it
ask for more.
Its about time i got my ass moving.
and for everyone who's reading my blog, i suspect that the following entries will be full of pep talk to myself so its alright if you dont wanna come back for that shit everyday. I forgive u ; )
- a line from Bugsy Malone
So I will
not slack
make a list of my task
finish it
ask for more.
Its about time i got my ass moving.
and for everyone who's reading my blog, i suspect that the following entries will be full of pep talk to myself so its alright if you dont wanna come back for that shit everyday. I forgive u ; )
'Hey, you alright?' 'Yeah, i am, but you're not'
Lose yourself.
Not to lose your identity but to become
the thumping beat
the electric energy
the mourning in the singers voice
the raw sensuality in a blood red rose
the happiness of vibrant colours at a fresh fruit stall on tuesdays
the starkness of black on white, fuschia on neon pink
the textures of a fresh, succulent shrimp
the juiciness of a plump longan
the richness of a sweet, creamy lobster sauce
not just experiencing but to become the experience
to live in that sensation and be swept away, engulfed, consumed by it
'I am Jack's raging bile duct'
Who am I?
When are you asking?
Where are you asking?
What are you asking?
I am a result of circumstances - There is no me, there is the daughter of my parents, sister to my brother. My identity is a reaction to my environment - I refuse to be like them. Your impression of me is how you see me fit into your world, your society, your opinion of me and your friends' opinions - fillintheblank. There is no me. I am nothing without context. There is no self.
There is no self.
Not to lose your identity but to become
the thumping beat
the electric energy
the mourning in the singers voice
the raw sensuality in a blood red rose
the happiness of vibrant colours at a fresh fruit stall on tuesdays
the starkness of black on white, fuschia on neon pink
the textures of a fresh, succulent shrimp
the juiciness of a plump longan
the richness of a sweet, creamy lobster sauce
not just experiencing but to become the experience
to live in that sensation and be swept away, engulfed, consumed by it
'I am Jack's raging bile duct'
Who am I?
When are you asking?
Where are you asking?
What are you asking?
I am a result of circumstances - There is no me, there is the daughter of my parents, sister to my brother. My identity is a reaction to my environment - I refuse to be like them. Your impression of me is how you see me fit into your world, your society, your opinion of me and your friends' opinions - fillintheblank. There is no me. I am nothing without context. There is no self.
There is no self.
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