maybe i just dont want to do this anymore. whine.

23 and counting...

it has barely begun.. and sometimes i can't wait for it to end. Still, it has been and experience and theres nothing better to do with it than learn and move on. But history likes to repeat itself, unfortunately.

its time to get off that bed and step into your Possibility. but please dont trip over your feet.

Hehe...

"She's My Man"

This town was built on muddy stilts
By the lunatic parade
It rains like Revelations
Gonna wash these freaks away
Some girls wanna hold your hand
And some girls like to pray
Well my girl takes her drinks
With dust and rusty razor blades

As I lie between these covers
I wanna tell her that I love it
When she chokes me in the
Backseat of her riverboat 'cause

She's my man
And we got all the balls we need
When you taste that pavement
You're amazed
She smells your sympathy
So bye bye ladies
May the best queen hold the crown
For the most bush sold on the levee
My my, how word gets around
She strangles for a good time
And she kills my self-control
She's my man, don't be too sad sonny
'Cause she'll never be your woman no more

Someday soon, this dank lagoon's
Gonna sink right into hell
They'll hide you from Big Ida
At the Sho' Enough Hotel
The Ladies of the evening's just
A tombstone in your bed
Well my girl eats a wounded preacher
'tween two loaves of bread

I know she's up to something
But how can I run when she's just
Keel-hauled twenty-on to nothing
I'll stay next to the steel coal oven 'cause

She's my man
And we got all the balls we need
When you taste that pavement
You're amazed
She smells your sympathy
So bye bye ladies
May the best queen hold the crown
For the most bush sold on the levee
My my, how word gets around
She strangles for a good time
And she kills my self-control
She's my man, don't be too sad sonny
'Cause she'll never be your woman no more

All you need's just a fist of a tear-stained bunny
When the good ship comes to town
Who said loves a bitch'll sit next to me honey
Because this old boat's gonna run aground
I don't want to be the burden
Or your jealous bastard
I don't wanna be the Tarzan of your next epic disaster

She's my man
And we got all the balls we need
When you taste that pavement
You're amazed
She smells your sympathy
So bye bye ladies
May the best queen hold the crown
For the most bush sold on the levee
My my, how word gets around
She strangles for a good time
And she kills my self-control
She's my man, don't be too sad sonny
'Cause she'll never be your woman no more

She's my man, can't you feel her comin'
She's my man, she's gonna keep you runnin'
She's my man, she's gonna teach you something
She's me, she's my man

Hmm.. Last day of the year but I won't get to resolutions yet.

The last two nights have been quite nice and comforting in the dreams department =) Last night was playing texas hold'em with my bro and dad.. haha.. guess where that came from. Night before was quite an adventure with a nice ending even though I think it started off quite sinister. Not really sure now. haha.

Anyways, since I'll be on event over the turn of the year, here's wishing all a fabulous 2007 in advance and may it be a year for dreams and wishes to come true!

Love y'all!

Goin Home

I love introducing people to the things I love. It's absolutely brilliant because you're reminded of the wonderful things that attracted you to it in the first place and you always find new things to love! Home Club is no exception. Brought Tush around after a night at MOS. Thought we'd just chill and have a last drink.. also because I hadn't been there in a looooooong while and had a hankering since we were so close by. I'm glad it was a good experience all in all and showed her the unpretentious side of clubbing where people actually loved and knew the music as opposed to using the music to feel "cool", whatever that might be.

Come home soon!

Greedy

I hate it when i get greedy. Haha.. it's really true that you can't have too much of a good thing. Maybe that's why some people think they wanna settle down.

light up light up, as if you have a choice

even if you cannot hear my voice, i'll be right beside you dear.

Be fair to me
tell me what you know
how do l decide
if l should stay or go
am l good enough
will i ever see
how this could ever be

tell me right now
then l won't waste my time
chasing something
that will never be mine
dreams are dreams
they don't have to come true

as a matter of fact
they seldom do

a miracle now
is a way that is found
to get out of this mess
please sir, let me have this one
and you can have the rest

Liberation!

AAAAah! hahah.. finally! It didn't really hit until the weekend started :) first in what - 3months? And it feels amazing! haha.. all that freedom to do what you want and nothing that you don't want! No restrictions as to where you need to be and what you need to be doing. Could've been better but dreams are in the making out there and it really is quite cool. haha.. i'm actually quite proud of it ;)

i love having my time to be mine :D i love it love it love it! now i wanna go for a coffee, club, drink, beach, dinner, HANG OUT!! I love life!! hahaha... I now have time for a movie! Cut my hair! READ! LIVE!

wooo hooo!!!!

I love havana nights!! Everytime i watch the movie, i want to go to this place where you can be who you want to be at that moment. the grace, passion, intensity.. its just breath taking.

end

it was a quiet, almost non-event. Quite anti-climatic actually. haha.

So that was seven months of grief off my back : ) Can't say I'm sad that it's over. Not that it's much to shout about either since there's tonnes of paper to clear. But it's a relief that it'll never come back again. haha.. can tell that most of it was bad huh? Guess its time to muster up all that optimism from years gone by and try to see it all as one huge-assed lesson to be learnt. And for that I am grateful.

but please give me some time to recover ok?

Thanks babe, for offering refuge last night. Needed it. :)

Start

Ok. New start to the day.

Has been good so far.. got up after only 2 snoozes, read on the train, snoozed a little on the bus and managed to buy breakfast, eat and clear emails in good time. Also decided to lose the coffee in the morning and do with juice instead. Healthier I guess. If I need to then coffee in the afternoon will do just as well since its probably when I need it most.

So on to a healthy start.. hope the rest of the day goes just as well!

Refreshed

For some reason. Most probably the two 8-hour comas I've had within the past week. Of course, there's also the moving on to other stuff. It's like I finally have time to live and do the things I like again - reading, enjoying music without having to think about how it affects my mood, having proper dinners and drinks with people I connect with. Have a conversation :)

So in the morning, after the panic of waking up 30 mins late, here's what ran through my mind:

1) Take up driving again - get my licence within a year
2) Go back to Salsa and dancing in December - 2006
3) I will make a habit of reading prose written about things unrelated to work. If it leads me back to what I do and how I can work - fine.
4) Keep in touch with those I love. It's a horrible feeling to lose contact even for just a month. Really makes you feel more alone than you really are.
5) Make 1st Dec a real good one.
6) Always be inspired by what's around me. It's the only way to be creative and to know that you're still living.

So there. Six simple things to do that I will start on immediately.

First one that's already accomplished was reading - although for free at Borders. It was a book about the top creative minds in Singapore in the Ad industry and what inspires them, what their ethos is. And I'm glad to know that they don't live by some obscure, beyond mortal minds philosophy. They just keep their minds open.

It really isn't true that we close our minds to things. Most of the time we're quite receptive to new ideas, technologies, attitudes and mindsets. "Receptive" being the operative word here. Without being fed information or told of a new perspective, most of us are quite happy just not knowing or not having an opinion. The way to open our minds is to continually reach out to the world and be inspired by anything and everything. Imagine if we get so used to hooking unrelated things up and creating new ideas, seeing things in a totally whacked way, "creativity" will come in an instant! Brainstorm sessions will be a thing of the past because it happens over lunch, in meetings, while waiting for a bus, all the time! What a brilliant and exciting place the world would be to live in. Think about it - ideas that excite you - perpetually!

How wonderfully invigourating for a change!

This entry in no way means to belittle the sentiments in jenn's entry.... but it really SUCKS when ALL you get - EVERYTIME - from playing in the pitiful drizzle is fucking pneumonia.

cb.

Fuck you. Fuck you all. I hope you have a happy life you miserable buggers. Piss off. Scram! I hate you! I hate you all!!!! *screeeeeaaaaaam*

Why is it that i'm caught in that FIVE mins that i turn my back? Five mins out of 4 freakin weekends! Life sucks. Its like I've had good luck in my previous lives and all the bad luck goes into this one. What the hell!!!

Cancer

Call it Procrastinitis, last-minutitis - whatever. Its a cancer and I've got it. BAD. And its like I can never learn my lesson. How hard exactly do I have to be hit to realise that I can't go on like that forever? Its like looking into a man-hole (as in drainage system, please focus on the right things here!), remembering how you broke your leg in 3 places when you last fell into it and then thinking "hmm.. ok let me step into it"

"We're so fucked. Totally and completely."~Tush

YES YES YES YES!!!

haha.. aiyoh.. haven't rooted for anyone like that in a long time.. Its nice to be that silly young thing again.. hehe

Sigh.. I'm so in love with him! hahaha "FREEDOM!"

One month.

Thanks for perspective, inspiration, faith.

One month.