whether he is demon or human, he is him.

Parting quote frm Saiyuki. Yes, I'm 20 going on old age and still extremely affected by anime. last eps really gave me a sick feeling. was it the theme? was it the way the plot unfurled? was it the characters'... character? I dont know. Maybe it was something i ate at dinner. Maybe its coz i've got to work tmr. but i am depressed.

i hate it that sanzo still has to kill him. like at the end of it all, its never enough to know you're wrong, is it? there are always consequences to bear. I'd hate to be sanzo. 'If they turn violent on me, I'll shoot them dead myself.' He hasnt been put in that kinda situation and I hope they never write it. I'll shoot them dead myself.

good reality check? Well, I'll go to the nile for that. I don't think reality is that grim. Life should not be that grim. its WRONG.

I dont'think there's actually any logical reason for my outburst. just a gut reaction to the season finale. It dragged out long enough to get on my nerves, bordering on whiney but there's something else that really got me upset and I don't know what it is. i don't know what it is.

aaaarrrrgggghhhh! Its only Saiyuki that does this.. nothing else. Sometimes I'm even afraid to watch this things.. even listen to the soundtrack coz for one, it was associated with leaving and the themes that run thru the series.. spooks me out. I can't deal with it.

*cry*

well well

It's been a while since the new year begin and I guess this is really the first time I'm taking time out to think about... well just to think. Not that it's been really busy or anything. In fact, I'm really enjoying this time off where work is so much less intense and I've got time for friends and family and stuff. yeah. saiyuki anyone? So what's there been to think about...

Weddings. Ah. still way way down the road for me but having already attended one, well that sure hit home the PERMANANCE of the commitment.. like 'for the rest of your lives'. Is that major or what. Right now, except to my job, I don't see how I can even begin to think of making such a decision... Then, of course, there's always the issue of when... Like I said, don't see it on the roadmap for a loooooooooong while - and then some. Still, do I really want to get married at say...OLD AGE then have to face the fact that I cannot, instead of will not, have kids? Oh well.. lets find the stud first then see how.

For the rest of life, I don't think I really regret anything I've done in 2004... its more like what extra stuff I need in 2005. Like motivation, discipline and less weight. So I start of my year vegging around, putting off my to-do list and pigging out. Things can only get better.

Stoned

My biggest accomplishment today - Stoning. Yeah.. did a fair amount of it with Tush today at Bugis. Remembered how I enjoyed just watching people pass by without having any specific objective. Ah such Purposelessness!

Hopes for 2005

Under the lone star, I tried to make a wish but realised that I didnt have one.

Have I got everything I need and don't need to wish for more?

Or do I not believe in Wishes anymore?

Duno man.