Clubbing. Lose yourself in the music the momment you own it you better never let it go. that's just it i guess. haha. i'm such a selfish clubber.. sorry guys,but when the music's that hot.. man its so easy to let go!
When the bodies bumping against you, the thumping in your ear, that sliding of the soles of your shoes become your world where there is only you. where in the middle of that jam-packed dance floor you exist only to obey the beats and rythms and you allow yourself to move, flow, be whatever you want. where your thoughts are allowed to become fantasies, and you can make them almost real And the music becomes that sensuous body pressed up against you, hands that slide up and down your body, hungrily seeking the most intimate contact. And the music becomes a sexiness that grooves in tandem as if it is the only being that is in touch with the essence of what you are.
there is this.. connection when the music is not a second entity anymore, when the communication is internal,is a sharing of highs and lows. i guess visually, its like when you superimpose two images that sway to the same beat but gradually merge into each other. if someone who understands this tells me that its better than sex i wouldnt be too surprised. how else, where else, can you find such a primal, complete one-ness that feels so real and so .. right. its feels like it's something i was born to experience. the only way i have found to surrender myself and completely..... trust.
Saturday, April 30, 2005
Your Seduction Style: The Coquette |
 You are a pro at playing the age old game of hard to get. Your flirting style runs hot and cold, giving just enough to keep them chasing you. Independent and self-sufficient, you don't need any one person to make you compelte. And that independence is exactly what makes people pursue you. |
How true is this?
Your Birthdate: January 22 |
While sometimes employing unorthodox approaches, you are capable of handling large scale undertakings. You assume great responsibility and work long and hard toward completion. Often, especially in the early part of life, there is rigidity or stubbornness, and a tendency to repress feelings. Idealistic, you work for the greater good with a good deal of inner strength and charisma. An extremely capable organizer, but likely to paint with broad strokes rather than detail. You are very aware and intuitive. You are subject to a good deal of nervous tension. |
Good Morning!
I am up at 930am. On a saturday.3004 guys... 20 big 20 small. Please remember to share!
& Thanks guys for a G.R.E.A.T. Night!!
& Thanks guys for a G.R.E.A.T. Night!!
Thursday, April 28, 2005
I'm using mac's wi fi at bucks.. i love this! haha, so cheapo
Hmm.. the inspiration today is… rain.
Yep, even after england, its still one of my favourite weather condition of all time… so here I am ,Caramel Macchiato and peachy danish on the table with my lappy.. its quite.. peaceful.. Usher helps too I guess ; ) but of course, now that its raining, I cannot hop over to Mac to upload this.
Hmmm. I love Starbucks, have I told anyone that lately? Haha.. Its really great to have some down time (right at the start of the day at that!) to think about all things idle… I love this life. Why isnt there a bucks near my office? But right now, for once in the longest time, I’m too happy to quarrel with that : )
Yep, even after england, its still one of my favourite weather condition of all time… so here I am ,Caramel Macchiato and peachy danish on the table with my lappy.. its quite.. peaceful.. Usher helps too I guess ; ) but of course, now that its raining, I cannot hop over to Mac to upload this.
Hmmm. I love Starbucks, have I told anyone that lately? Haha.. Its really great to have some down time (right at the start of the day at that!) to think about all things idle… I love this life. Why isnt there a bucks near my office? But right now, for once in the longest time, I’m too happy to quarrel with that : )
With the last bit of caramel macchiato
I'm still awake and i've got a meeting at 9. Liverpool... will it be too much for you to beat Chelsea?
its amazing my capacity to do work without knowing wht i'm doing.. sigh.. guess i'll have more substantial stuff to blog tmr morning at bucks... no inspirationnow.
bye bye
its amazing my capacity to do work without knowing wht i'm doing.. sigh.. guess i'll have more substantial stuff to blog tmr morning at bucks... no inspirationnow.
bye bye
Sunday, April 24, 2005
Weekends
As weekends come and go, I don't remember which is which but for the past month, I've had the most enriching weekends in a long time. Meeting new people, experiencing new things... its really creating a life for myself.. haha.. sounds greater than it is? Perhaps. But I'm really happy that I'm doing the things i wanna do, with luck, I'll probably find people to do them with. If not,then the options are there.
This weekend.. man.. blew alot on food and music... ohmygosh.. diaper dudes on Oprah's World's Biggest Baby Shower... Someday, That'll be me -grin-
This weekend.. man.. blew alot on food and music... ohmygosh.. diaper dudes on Oprah's World's Biggest Baby Shower... Someday, That'll be me -grin-
Saturday, April 23, 2005
rant. i hate being
STOP BEING OLD! For goodness sake... it'll only be like this for another year or so... once its over.. there'll just be so much fucking regret all the times you tried to be what you're not. and when you do, you're gonna be absolutely miserable and guess what - you won't be able to do squat about it. as they say 'Suck it up'
you know the best way out of this might just be that - out. out of this lack of thought, lack of opinion, lack of motivation, fuck crystal palace scored, lack of variety of anything other than oily, unhealthy, AVERAGE food. Yes that's it.. this is such a fucking AVERAGE place. Where everyone lives in their own selfish cocoon of comfort , in this cultural, moral fucking desert. no lows, of course. No trouble, no unrest, no uprising, no strike, no inspiration, no energy, no bloody diversity other than the colour of our skin, no ideology other than pragmatism and money, no Life no spirit, no soul, no emotion, no passion, no fucking sense of self worth looking at how we're willing to work more for less, all in the FEAR that the chinese/indian etc national living down the street will do it. so do you really thing that if singaporeas suddenly decide that they wont work for crap wages the govt will say 'ok lets employ the cheaper labour then'? if you do then i'll say that the Powers that be is SO royally screwing up in their jobs but dont worry, your people still love you despite your abusing them, oppressing them coz you know, they never really had freedom or rights so.. they really don't know what they're missing.
Really.. this place is an unbelievable homeland. Utterly Fake. Completely Thoughtless (and please, this does NOT mean inconsiderate you engineered lemmings. I hate this place... this totally WRETCHED, controlled, AAAAAAAAAAAAA.IT SUCKS. ITS CRAP. WHAT FUCKING GOOD IS THIS PLACE WHEN THE BEST THING IT DOES FOR YOU IS TO GIVE YOU THE FUCKING ABILITY TO UP AND LEAVE? I HATE THIS PLACE. IT SUCKS. HUM FUCKING DRUM OF EVERYDAY ROUTINE IS FUCKING BORING. YOU TAKE SQUAT FROM THIS LIFE. AND IT GIVES BACK NOTHING. NO BLOODY SATISFACTION, NO COMFORT. NO INSPIRATION, EVERYONE'S DOING THE BLOODY SAME THING. DAY IN DAY OUT DAY IN DAY OUT DAY IN DAY OUT DAY IN DAY OUT DAY IN DAY OUT. just kill me please. i am not living. i am a mere economic digit. my greatest contribution is to the f&b industry and in ten years, the healthcare industry and in the next twenty, fertilising the secondary forests.
i dont think i can do this anymore.
but don't worry about me. i'm well trained. will get over this in a bit and chalk it up to pms.. have been doing for the past 21 and according to the above calcuations, will continue to do so in..... the next 30.
have a nice life
you know the best way out of this might just be that - out. out of this lack of thought, lack of opinion, lack of motivation, fuck crystal palace scored, lack of variety of anything other than oily, unhealthy, AVERAGE food. Yes that's it.. this is such a fucking AVERAGE place. Where everyone lives in their own selfish cocoon of comfort , in this cultural, moral fucking desert. no lows, of course. No trouble, no unrest, no uprising, no strike, no inspiration, no energy, no bloody diversity other than the colour of our skin, no ideology other than pragmatism and money, no Life no spirit, no soul, no emotion, no passion, no fucking sense of self worth looking at how we're willing to work more for less, all in the FEAR that the chinese/indian etc national living down the street will do it. so do you really thing that if singaporeas suddenly decide that they wont work for crap wages the govt will say 'ok lets employ the cheaper labour then'? if you do then i'll say that the Powers that be is SO royally screwing up in their jobs but dont worry, your people still love you despite your abusing them, oppressing them coz you know, they never really had freedom or rights so.. they really don't know what they're missing.
Really.. this place is an unbelievable homeland. Utterly Fake. Completely Thoughtless (and please, this does NOT mean inconsiderate you engineered lemmings. I hate this place... this totally WRETCHED, controlled, AAAAAAAAAAAAA.IT SUCKS. ITS CRAP. WHAT FUCKING GOOD IS THIS PLACE WHEN THE BEST THING IT DOES FOR YOU IS TO GIVE YOU THE FUCKING ABILITY TO UP AND LEAVE? I HATE THIS PLACE. IT SUCKS. HUM FUCKING DRUM OF EVERYDAY ROUTINE IS FUCKING BORING. YOU TAKE SQUAT FROM THIS LIFE. AND IT GIVES BACK NOTHING. NO BLOODY SATISFACTION, NO COMFORT. NO INSPIRATION, EVERYONE'S DOING THE BLOODY SAME THING. DAY IN DAY OUT DAY IN DAY OUT DAY IN DAY OUT DAY IN DAY OUT DAY IN DAY OUT. just kill me please. i am not living. i am a mere economic digit. my greatest contribution is to the f&b industry and in ten years, the healthcare industry and in the next twenty, fertilising the secondary forests.
i dont think i can do this anymore.
but don't worry about me. i'm well trained. will get over this in a bit and chalk it up to pms.. have been doing for the past 21 and according to the above calcuations, will continue to do so in..... the next 30.
have a nice life
Monday, April 18, 2005
There.
You know how when someone says something and it sweeps you off your feet, sets your pulse racing, makes your palms go clammy and your toes curl and there's this bubbling inside you thats rising and rising and all of a sudden its all you can do to not let it out?!
I dont.
I dont.
Sunday, April 17, 2005
Uninspired
The Open Singapore Centre will hold a public forum entitled
The Death Penalty and the Rule of Law in Singapore
on 16 April 2005 (Saturday) at 2:00 pm
at Hotel Asia, 37 Scotts Road, Singapore 228229
What can I say? These groups need to have more credibility. Sadly, just having a passion for a cause isnt going to convince many. Holding a forum in a little known hotel - fine, the top ones are probably either fully booked or too costly. And I'm being naive here. But to have no working air-conditioning, projection system that looked like it had a life of its own and a sound system that gave more feedback then the people there...its these things that show how un-together the organisers and by association, the speakers are.
And the moderation. I appreciate that the organisers do not have had the funds to engage a professional. But they didn't have to. All they needed was someone who knew what he/she was talking about. That would've made the session so much more engaging.
And please, there is no need to react so pettily and childishly to that officer. A simple announcement that he was here to check on whatever would have sufficed. The ridiculing, hysterics and defensiveness just goes to show how readily you would poke fun, without reason, at anything related to the authority. What was the point in all of that? Angering the police so that they would be even fussier? Like you said, Singaporeans are educated and informed enough to interpret what they are seeing. If they feel that it was an unecessary move by the authorities, then that is what they will feel and that is what will be communicated. Why let this message be overshadowed by the obvious show of lack of maturity?
There are those who say that opposition political parties are not the way to go in Singapore simply because there is a lack in difference of ideologies. We are economically driven and it would be hard to argue a different view. Maybe what we need are NGOs that, political or not, will champion their views on different issues.
But most importantly, we need a CREDIBLE entity to inspire us. The job is simple. The Government is not particularly inspiring right now, is it? That's half your battle won.
The Death Penalty and the Rule of Law in Singapore
on 16 April 2005 (Saturday) at 2:00 pm
at Hotel Asia, 37 Scotts Road, Singapore 228229
What can I say? These groups need to have more credibility. Sadly, just having a passion for a cause isnt going to convince many. Holding a forum in a little known hotel - fine, the top ones are probably either fully booked or too costly. And I'm being naive here. But to have no working air-conditioning, projection system that looked like it had a life of its own and a sound system that gave more feedback then the people there...its these things that show how un-together the organisers and by association, the speakers are.
And the moderation. I appreciate that the organisers do not have had the funds to engage a professional. But they didn't have to. All they needed was someone who knew what he/she was talking about. That would've made the session so much more engaging.
And please, there is no need to react so pettily and childishly to that officer. A simple announcement that he was here to check on whatever would have sufficed. The ridiculing, hysterics and defensiveness just goes to show how readily you would poke fun, without reason, at anything related to the authority. What was the point in all of that? Angering the police so that they would be even fussier? Like you said, Singaporeans are educated and informed enough to interpret what they are seeing. If they feel that it was an unecessary move by the authorities, then that is what they will feel and that is what will be communicated. Why let this message be overshadowed by the obvious show of lack of maturity?
There are those who say that opposition political parties are not the way to go in Singapore simply because there is a lack in difference of ideologies. We are economically driven and it would be hard to argue a different view. Maybe what we need are NGOs that, political or not, will champion their views on different issues.
But most importantly, we need a CREDIBLE entity to inspire us. The job is simple. The Government is not particularly inspiring right now, is it? That's half your battle won.
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
junkie
I am an adrenaline junkie. in a perpetual need to feel but too afraid. hence i create my own euphoria that is not happiness. to come down from a high that is not disappointment. to live so intensely that there can be nothing more to experience but never, ever feeling.
i am going to sleep now.
i am going to sleep now.
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
one minute.. and then the next
Sometimes i wonder if people in relationships have a tendency to want to divorce (this is such a bad word to use) their 'normal' life with their romantic relationships. I'm really basing my comments on hardly any experience and a couple of anecdotes around so this probably qualifies as another random brainwave.
For example, taking the length of a blog as a measure of how affected a person is by the topic, its not uncommon that 'love' as a topic usually has an entire entry dedicated to it while diary entry types cover a whole lot more issues. And these 'love' entries can take on a completely different tone, attitude, even personality from the other entries.
I guess its also the 'delayed telecast' effect of blogs where you only get very intense expressions and at such regular intervals that one seems to not relate with the other. guess what i'm trying to say that its very disturbing to read a jolly entry and then another which is one day apart yet completely depressing, morbid and pessimistic. but it is nice to see the dreary and tired suddenly become.. energised and.. glowing.
-smile-
For example, taking the length of a blog as a measure of how affected a person is by the topic, its not uncommon that 'love' as a topic usually has an entire entry dedicated to it while diary entry types cover a whole lot more issues. And these 'love' entries can take on a completely different tone, attitude, even personality from the other entries.
I guess its also the 'delayed telecast' effect of blogs where you only get very intense expressions and at such regular intervals that one seems to not relate with the other. guess what i'm trying to say that its very disturbing to read a jolly entry and then another which is one day apart yet completely depressing, morbid and pessimistic. but it is nice to see the dreary and tired suddenly become.. energised and.. glowing.
-smile-
Thanks for the assurance.. and apathy
You know, when one bares ones soul of insecurities, it would be politically incorrect but one would expect some form of reassurance that one is not that vulnerable and no one really thinks one is shallow and irrational. Generally. And honestly, a -grin- is not the least bit assuring at all. But thank you very much all the same.
Crap aside,the past two weeks have been a rediscovery of current affairs for me. Quite ashamed to say that I was so out of it in the first place. I wonder if all those wishes I made about 'why can't i be a complete ditz and worry more about whether my nail polish matches my eyes?' are finally catching up with me. (Although to be quite frank, its more like 'whats for dinner?' right now) I guess the worst part about it is that it makes me feel so removed from the real issues of the world like race and gender discrimination, the alternative lifestyle, human rights, lack of education for children and poverty. stuff. What really scared me was how could so easily joke about dropping the A-Bomb on Africa as a form of population control. 'That's a sure way to eliminate Third World Debt' I remember saying. Goodness.. it must have been what...3 years at least, since I was cracking that kinda jokes. Horrible.
So what does that make me now huh? Am I still.. real? Have I become.... Singaporean?
Crap aside,the past two weeks have been a rediscovery of current affairs for me. Quite ashamed to say that I was so out of it in the first place. I wonder if all those wishes I made about 'why can't i be a complete ditz and worry more about whether my nail polish matches my eyes?' are finally catching up with me. (Although to be quite frank, its more like 'whats for dinner?' right now) I guess the worst part about it is that it makes me feel so removed from the real issues of the world like race and gender discrimination, the alternative lifestyle, human rights, lack of education for children and poverty. stuff. What really scared me was how could so easily joke about dropping the A-Bomb on Africa as a form of population control. 'That's a sure way to eliminate Third World Debt' I remember saying. Goodness.. it must have been what...3 years at least, since I was cracking that kinda jokes. Horrible.
So what does that make me now huh? Am I still.. real? Have I become.... Singaporean?
Sunday, April 10, 2005
My blog
Reading new blogs always makes me go back to mine and for the first time.. I wondered if my thoughtless ramblings would be too embarassing to show everyone.. haha. I don't think it's a matter of giving people too much insight to my life coz the entries are so cryptic that even I barely remember what they're about.
Guess I'm just wondering what kinda impression these ... entries (forgive me, i really couldn't find an adjective for them) give. haha...
Guess I'm just wondering what kinda impression these ... entries (forgive me, i really couldn't find an adjective for them) give. haha...
Saturday, April 09, 2005
Singapore Arts Festival 2005
Programme
Bang on a can all stars
Gumbo Jumbo
Aparition
Late Shows
Don’t let sleeping androids lie
Looking at the sky
Rock on
Drumming explosion
stroj
A regular one night stand
Skylight
If anyone's interested in attending the above performances with me, gimme a shout yeah? some are FOC and most of you would be able to get student prices for tix. more info at http://www.singaporeartsfest.com/
Bang on a can all stars
Gumbo Jumbo
Aparition
Late Shows
Don’t let sleeping androids lie
Looking at the sky
Rock on
Drumming explosion
stroj
A regular one night stand
Skylight
If anyone's interested in attending the above performances with me, gimme a shout yeah? some are FOC and most of you would be able to get student prices for tix. more info at http://www.singaporeartsfest.com/
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
My PMS Song - Enjoy
So, i am here
i am now
tomorrow;s yet to be
yet to be the end
of today
in a bit
pms
pms
pms
pms
oo-ooh pms
ithink it ends here
starts there
into it
and then
aaaaaaaa X 3
Repeat chorus til mute
i am now
tomorrow;s yet to be
yet to be the end
of today
in a bit
pms
pms
pms
pms
oo-ooh pms
ithink it ends here
starts there
into it
and then
aaaaaaaa X 3
Repeat chorus til mute
Saturday, April 02, 2005
Its just one of the things you wanna say "Never" to
"Untitled"
I open my eyes
I try to see but I’m blinded by the white light
I can’t remember how
I can’t remember why
I’m lying here tonight
And I can’t stand the pain
And I can’t make it go away
No I can’t stand the pain
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
Everybody’s screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I’m slipping off the edge
I’m hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again
So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can’t explain what happened
And I can’t erase the things that I’ve done
No I can’t
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me - SP
I open my eyes
I try to see but I’m blinded by the white light
I can’t remember how
I can’t remember why
I’m lying here tonight
And I can’t stand the pain
And I can’t make it go away
No I can’t stand the pain
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
Everybody’s screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I’m slipping off the edge
I’m hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again
So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can’t explain what happened
And I can’t erase the things that I’ve done
No I can’t
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me - SP
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