boo needs a Buy-a-Macbook fund... *tear* says:
shit.. i hate to say this
boo needs a Buy-a-Macbook fund... *tear* says:
but losing my laptop feels a helluvalot like breaking up.
-tush- says:
whyyyy
boo needs a Buy-a-Macbook fund... *tear* says:
heart pain and i'm missing it already!
boo needs a Buy-a-Macbook fund... *tear* says:
i feel like crying!
.
.
.
boo needs a Buy-a-Macbook fund... *tear* says:
i think this is like.. fear of losing it
boo needs a Buy-a-Macbook fund... *tear* says:
this is the " oh god is he going to dump me" part

Hello y'all!!

I never expected to say this at this age but these past couple of days, I've been insanely contented. haha.. Being in Canberra, and more because of staying with Tush and Sharon, I've found a lifestyle that's come as close to my ideal as ever. Reading by the lake, (cold spray and pigeon terrorists included), having coffee and meals at places that are unique and appreciated for their individual decor, atmosphere and flavours like Jones the grocer, the turkish place, Koko Black, and the best, only because I've missed it so much - Nando's! haha..

Most of all, dinners at home and each other's homes. I love the company who have been so readily accepting of meeting new people and being inclusive during conversations.

And as natural as it is to Tush and co, (hehe) it isn't something that is on the spur of the moment. Hosts plan a week ahead and so do guests, and they won't cancel at the last minute because their tired. You might argue that they don't have the work load we do but it doesn't mean we can break our own word right? So to all whom I've done this to - my sincerest apologies. I will not do it again. And I will of course, endeavour to cook and treat you to something vaguely edible, with lots of wine at mine's.

It really isn't the lifestyle in Singapore but since when have I made that my benchmark, right? So at this moment I'm quite determined to live as I feel I should. That means deciding when I will cook and make time to get grocceries and go home early. That means I will plan what to do during the weekends, even if it is to go to the beach to read, so that I will be able to do it, and then I can start liking my life again.

As a matter of course, the same goes to work as well - phew..

Righto.. here’s post 1 of the HOLIDAY!!!

Haha..

They day didn’t start too wonderfully with a load of stuff to do.. but thankfully we had a meeting that ended early so I didn’t have to worry about missing my flight.. thank goodness!

Dinner with Popeyes was nice, with Ridz and there after… was the flight! One of the more interesting flights, I must say. I was seated between 2 guys – on the left was a nice cute Italian who didn’t speak much English and was really into his PSP. Haha.. and on the right was a Bulgarian fellow who was reading – guess what? Chaucer! Haha.. a Bulgarian translation of Chaucer, beat that! We started talking about it and he’s apparently read Tolstoy, and other European authors. When was the last time you met someone who’s not a teacher or student and reading such literature for leisure? Even though he wasn’t fluent in English, we had a lovely conversation about tone and nuances that are lost in the translation process.. nothing really academic but it was totally fun! Haha.. and the best part – He’s a truck driver living in Sydney. I love the world outside Singapore!!!

So now I’m at the airport, 8am Sydney time and waiting for the coach into Canberra. I managed to park myself right next to a power socket – yippee!! Unfortunately, wireless internet costs A$14.50 an hour so you’re getting a delayed post here…

But back to Sydney.. half the people here are asian.. I’m glad I decided to head for Canberra instead.. haha.. but it also means that the people, in general, look twice better than Singapore. Obviously it’s not that all non-asians look good but they just seem to carry themselves with this confidence, regardless of whether they are the “common folk” or musicians or snowboarders that they are so much more attractive than the Asians who seem lost in their environment. Even when they’re in the majority back in Singapore.. sad isn’t it?

I hope I can find the iRiver Clix here.

Oh, and I LOVE THE COLD!!!!

Dinner was wonderful!

Whoppa!!!! I'm off!!! off!!! off!!!!

Yeeeeeoweeeee!!!

hahahhahahahhaha

Love you all!

Remembering old loves .. and John Mayer *smile*

Back to you
It always comes around
Back to you
I tried to forget you
I tried to stay away
But it's too late

Over you
I'm never over
Over you
Something about you
It's just the way you move
The way you move me

I'm so good at forgetting
And I quit ever game I play
But forgive me, love
I can't turn and walk away

Back to you
It always comes around
Back to you
I walk with your shadow
I'm sleeping in my bed
With your silhouette

should have smiled in that picture
If it's the last that I'll see of you
It's the least that you
Could not do

Leave the light on
I'll never give up on you
Leave the light on
For me too

Back to me
I know that it comes
Back to me
Doesn't it scare you
Your will is not as strong
As it used to be

Life's precious moments..

"High"nanese Chicken Rice...

haha.. thanks guys!

“Once we get to the end of this song, then it will begin again.” So you said in our bed. I was watching light slip through blinds to find your skin. “So take your medicine and I won’t ask where you’ve been. Live your lost weekend, I know you’ve wanted it. Get big, little kid. And I can't say why each day doesn’t quite fit the space we saved for it.” But if that space now demands that you throw up both your hands and call it quits... “Take your midnight trip. I know you’ve dreamed of it. Walk your sunset strip, because I think you’ve needed it to get big, little kid. But just remember that our love only got this good because of the younger days that you'd like to outstrip. So drink your cup down to the dregs and leave that club on shaking legs with another guy, but remember: I'm not him. Take your medicine and I won=t ask where you’ve been. Live your lost weekend, I know you’ve wanted it. Get big, little kid. And once we get to the end of this song, then another will begin.”

Coffee in Love.jpg

It's been a while since I've been so moved by a picture. One I can hardly bear to look at for more than a second.

Here's the definition of "bittersweet"

haha.. and yes, I envy them.

Thanks Jenn, and cuppacoffeelovers.com

Urges

Had the urge to write today. Too bad I couldn't find anyone to write to who wouldn't feel that its weird or to find it such a novelty that it becomes more interesting that what I had to say. Sad, isn't it that you can't share a thought through words and "delayed" communication anymore. Everything is instant and while that's exciting, it is also completely transient. There one moment, and lost the next. It's impossible to share it with anyone else other than whoever is online and interested. And it makes any experience completely shallow because that's all it is, a reaction to stimulation. Completely thoughtless and meaningless.

How is it that I have completely lost the skills for meaningful expression? How is it that in this day of technological wonders in communication, we have nothing of worth to communicate? When we are so precise with each calculation, we have all encompassing words that are "multi-functional" so you never really know the intensity of emotions and magnitude of thoughts.

And so here we are, with words that are meant to only be taken at face value because no one takes the time to think any deeper than the page it's written on. So perhaps it is a vicious cycle we save time by reading only for the essential, and help others by writing only the gist, and layer by layer we summarise the points, make everything concise so that it says only what it has to say to convey a fact that can be picked up at a glance.

So no one looks. And most certainly, no one sees.

dedicated to the girls

What gives, what helps
The Intuition
I'll know, I'll know
(Oh) I won't have to be shown
The way home
And it's not about a boy
Although, although

They can lead you
Hide or reveal too

A destination known
Only by the one
Whose fate is overgrown
Piecemeal could break your home
And have
A love is not complete
With only heat

They can tease you
Break or complete you

And in came a heatwave
A merciful save

You choose, you chose
Poetry over prose

A map is more unreal
(Oh) Than where you've been
Or how you feel
And it's impossible to tell
How important something was
And what you might have missed out on
And how it might have changed it all

Did I, did I miss out on you?


Intuition- Feist

A wish for Love.

What i miss most, is sharing life's tiny pleasures

- in a thought-

in a happy, dancey dinner =)

a compelling movie

Flowers in the sun =)

scintillating music.

I still love you. But we're ok. There will be something more that is truer to us and more beautiful than we can ever imagine. Then we will each create a philosophy, feast, epic, eden and kick ass rock concert for the world. And as we stand on that stage, each suddenly alive and each complete, we will remember,

the thoughts
the dinners
the movies
the flowers in the sun
Bangkok Rock

*grin*

Loneliness, don't come around here
I've boarded up all the doors
There's nothing to give no more

A visit to my happy place
On a sunny afternoon.

It was warm and cold,
and crisp and mellow

Hundred brown bottles, standing on the wall
and two brown bottles, accidentally fell.

And so we were there.
And so I was there.

On a visit to my happy place
On a sunny afternoon.

a flame tree

a flame tree, stoic in the night
breeze

unyielding in the hurricane of passion, bent over backwards

a flame tree, stoic in the night
breeze

Event idea of the Year!!

-tush- says:
are we planning something fun?
boo~ i still don't says:
singles night out where if you're single, you're single, and if your not single, you pretend
boo~ i still don't says:
and we go out, flirt like mad and realise no one is interested so the pretend singles go back and are comforted that they have a partner and the single singles are motivated to look harder for rich me

Boys and Girls who are interested, please leave your name and if this ever happens, we'll send you an invite!!

Falling in love is so hard on the knees

Whoever's whining about this should try breaking up.

i think its finally time to move on.

ok.i will stop. it's taking more of me than i care to give it so i will stop. i refuse to be an afterthought.

Hmm i was just reading through some opinions on the issues of decriminalising homosexuality in singapore.

Here's my take at 3am in the morning:

Really, why do you bother with a society that wants you only for your economic contribution and if you are just like them? Assuming their argument that decriminalising will cause straight people to become gay and just because people have and alternative lifestyle to choose from, everyone will ignore who they really are and jump on the bandwagon, what they are saying is that they don't trust themselves to do the "right thing" when they can choose not to. These are people who put their insecurities ahead of your basic rights as a human being. You won't tolerate friends who force you wear the same ugly clothes as them so that they wont look ugly, so why should you try so hard to convince these scared little people who obviously can't think straight?

Go and live the life you need to live. Dont waste it on little frogs in wells. It is quite a defeatist attitude and there are those for whom their family and friends mean alot to them so they will continue fighting. Good for you and I wish you luck but don't get your hopes up too high. There's no point feeling like a loser for failing to improve the lives of those who are quite happy stuck in the mud as they are.

is it time out already?

the social fabric today is made up of ironies.

The world wide web lets you reach out to people on the otherside of the world and disguise your true self from your friends.

Apartment blocks can house hundreds of people within 2 football fields for decades yet the concrete walls block out the screams coming from less than 3 feet away.

Literacy which put millions of words and ideas into our minds created a society that wants to communicate that wealth of knowledge in bullet points, in acronyms, and summaries.

And the very tools that lets one learn about other cultures allows one to disrespect another and do away with courtesies simply because one can ignore the other.

had 3 dreams last night.

1) nightmare
2) lovely salmon in Chinatown in NY
3) Robbie Williams.

someone remind me to tell the stories later

the first time we ever got a chance to be alone, we knew
it was wrong to do
guess that's why i was drawn to you
the 2nd time leads to the 3rd, the 5th, the 7th time
I feel so alive, it won't last but it's alright
fleeting joy and fading ecstasy
here it goes again, oh
sneaking fruit from the forbidden tree, the sweet taste of sin

and I'm doing it again
yes I'm doing it again
oh, I'm doing it again
I said it would end
but here it goes again

this time you told me you saw me at the same motel
you said you knew me well
I had that familiar smell
you asked me how am I ever gonna learn to put my trust in you
like you want me to, 'cause I know what you're prone to do
accusations fly like bullets do
here it goes again, oh
you know me, because you're doing it too
it's like it never ends, never ends

oh you're doing it again
yes you're doing it again
oh you're doing it again
you said it would end
but here it goes again, and again, and again

damn I love you, but this is crazy
I have to fight you almost daily
we break up so fast, then we


we make up so passionately
why can't we just trust each other
you can't hate me and be my lover
passion ends, the pain begins
I come back

and we're doing it again
yes we're doing it again
oh, we're doing it again
we said it would end
but here it goes again

each time you call me home in a sweet refrain
say that things have changed, take away the pain
and you flash back to the first time you put your spell on me
you enveloped me, you feel good as hell to me
one moment leads to another few
here we go again, oooh
leaving you is oh so hard to do
I just can't pretend, can't pretend

I keep doing it again
oh, I'm doing it again
yes I'm doing it again
I said it would end
oh, oh, oh, oh

oh I'm doing it again
I said it would end
oh, oh, oh, oh
oh, I'm doing it again
I said it would end
but here it goes, again

At this particular time, you are feeling that you are or were unjustly and undeservedly treated and/or betrayed in your hopes and dreams. You feel that everything is against you. But look on the bright side for you are, whether you believe it or not, a survivor.

You are a leader in every sense of the word. You know where you are going and you know what you need to do in order to get there. You exercise an inherent initiative in overcoming obstacles and difficulties. You either hold, or wish to achieve, a position of authority by means of which full control can be exerted over events.

It's the time of year that you are apt to become extremely restless and emotionally withdrawn. This is preventing you from becoming deeply involved with a person or persons within your sphere of influence. If you are willing to 'let go' and release your inhibitions you will find that a great deal of physical satisfaction will result, far more than perhaps you even believed you were capable of.

For some time now your hopes and expectations have been denied and because of this you are becoming withdrawn and introverted. Continual disappointment has manifested itself in you becoming both suspicious and restrained you have become withdrawn from others and have receded more and more into yourself. You seem to have lost your innate enthusiasm and imaginative nature, for fear that you may be carried away by it only to find that you are wasting your time. You are loath to trust people, as in the past your trust has been misplaced. You seem to be keeping yourself cautiously aloof from others. At this moment in time your attitude is to trust nobody - until they can prove themselves to you.

You are moody and depressed at this time but it will pass. All of your hopes and dreams seem to have gone astray and you are fearful of planning further for the future. Disappointment at the non fulfilment of your hopes and the fear that to formulate fresh goals will only lead to further setbacks have resulted in considerable anxiety and you try to escape from this by withdrawing into yourself. But that is not the answer. You have the power to succeed, believe in yourself... all is possible to him who believes.

check yourself out

save room for my love
save room for a moment to be with me
save room for my love save a little
save a little for me
won't you save a little
save a little for me

- JL

I had a dream.

In it i was happy.

We took a drive around.

I was lauging, and so were you.

Then it was time to go home.

But we didnt.

Then we did.

And I was sad.

Hello there,

I would like to demand to be a bratty bitch, please.

Like now would be absolutely lovely.

Thank you!

It is four a.m.

So who am I.

What do I want to be.

What am I in this world.

What am I looking for?

Lost.

clearer with beer

and so it is

and so it has to be

a bird in a gilded cage is a dead bird nonetheless.
Unkept promises of abandonment will not keep it alive.

please...

I need my squad of cheerleaders!! where are my monday cheerleaders?!?!

thoughts on a bus

A turning tide
Lovers at a great divide
why d'you laugh
When I know that you hurt inside?

And why d'you say
It's just another day, nothing in my way
I don't wanna go, I don't wanna stay
So there's nothing left to say?
And why d'you lie
When you wanna die, when you hurt inside
Don't know what you lie for anyway
Now there's nothing left to say

A tell-tale sign
You don't know where to draw the line

And why d'you say
It's just another day, nothing in my way
I don't wanna go, I don't wanna stay
So there's nothing left to say
And why d'you lie
When you wanna die, when you hurt inside
Don't know what you lie for anyway
Now there's nothing left to say

Well for a lonely soul, you're having such a nice time
For a lonely soul, you're having such a nice time
For a lonely soul, it seems to me that you're having such a nice time
You're having such a nice time

For a lonely soul, you're having such a nice time
For a lonely soul, you're having such a nice time
For a lonely soul, it seems to me that you're having such a nice time
You're having such a nice time

While having myself a cuppa lovin'...

So there's my cuppa, and here's the reminiscin'..

I miss my little room with the big window.
And the view out into the sky.
Where over a little hill,
Is where the sunsets lie.

We're huddled against the heater,
On that little fold out bed,
Watching Stephen Chow
Fall over his own head.

And then quite out of now where,
I gave a little squeal.
"It's snowing its snowing!"
Oh I can remember how that feels!

We push open that giant window
and climb out onto the ledge
To watch the rest of the street
all go a little mad.

hehe..

As one by one the snow flakes fell
and settled on our noses,
we felt them on our cheeks
pretty and soft - like roses.

It filled me with a wistful yearning
for life to always be like that
But alas I'm here.
What happened to that?

I miss the winter
I miss being carefree
I miss the friendship
I miss me.

Me.

maybe i just dont want to do this anymore. whine.

23 and counting...

it has barely begun.. and sometimes i can't wait for it to end. Still, it has been and experience and theres nothing better to do with it than learn and move on. But history likes to repeat itself, unfortunately.

its time to get off that bed and step into your Possibility. but please dont trip over your feet.

Hehe...

"She's My Man"

This town was built on muddy stilts
By the lunatic parade
It rains like Revelations
Gonna wash these freaks away
Some girls wanna hold your hand
And some girls like to pray
Well my girl takes her drinks
With dust and rusty razor blades

As I lie between these covers
I wanna tell her that I love it
When she chokes me in the
Backseat of her riverboat 'cause

She's my man
And we got all the balls we need
When you taste that pavement
You're amazed
She smells your sympathy
So bye bye ladies
May the best queen hold the crown
For the most bush sold on the levee
My my, how word gets around
She strangles for a good time
And she kills my self-control
She's my man, don't be too sad sonny
'Cause she'll never be your woman no more

Someday soon, this dank lagoon's
Gonna sink right into hell
They'll hide you from Big Ida
At the Sho' Enough Hotel
The Ladies of the evening's just
A tombstone in your bed
Well my girl eats a wounded preacher
'tween two loaves of bread

I know she's up to something
But how can I run when she's just
Keel-hauled twenty-on to nothing
I'll stay next to the steel coal oven 'cause

She's my man
And we got all the balls we need
When you taste that pavement
You're amazed
She smells your sympathy
So bye bye ladies
May the best queen hold the crown
For the most bush sold on the levee
My my, how word gets around
She strangles for a good time
And she kills my self-control
She's my man, don't be too sad sonny
'Cause she'll never be your woman no more

All you need's just a fist of a tear-stained bunny
When the good ship comes to town
Who said loves a bitch'll sit next to me honey
Because this old boat's gonna run aground
I don't want to be the burden
Or your jealous bastard
I don't wanna be the Tarzan of your next epic disaster

She's my man
And we got all the balls we need
When you taste that pavement
You're amazed
She smells your sympathy
So bye bye ladies
May the best queen hold the crown
For the most bush sold on the levee
My my, how word gets around
She strangles for a good time
And she kills my self-control
She's my man, don't be too sad sonny
'Cause she'll never be your woman no more

She's my man, can't you feel her comin'
She's my man, she's gonna keep you runnin'
She's my man, she's gonna teach you something
She's me, she's my man

Hmm.. Last day of the year but I won't get to resolutions yet.

The last two nights have been quite nice and comforting in the dreams department =) Last night was playing texas hold'em with my bro and dad.. haha.. guess where that came from. Night before was quite an adventure with a nice ending even though I think it started off quite sinister. Not really sure now. haha.

Anyways, since I'll be on event over the turn of the year, here's wishing all a fabulous 2007 in advance and may it be a year for dreams and wishes to come true!

Love y'all!

Goin Home

I love introducing people to the things I love. It's absolutely brilliant because you're reminded of the wonderful things that attracted you to it in the first place and you always find new things to love! Home Club is no exception. Brought Tush around after a night at MOS. Thought we'd just chill and have a last drink.. also because I hadn't been there in a looooooong while and had a hankering since we were so close by. I'm glad it was a good experience all in all and showed her the unpretentious side of clubbing where people actually loved and knew the music as opposed to using the music to feel "cool", whatever that might be.

Come home soon!

Greedy

I hate it when i get greedy. Haha.. it's really true that you can't have too much of a good thing. Maybe that's why some people think they wanna settle down.

light up light up, as if you have a choice

even if you cannot hear my voice, i'll be right beside you dear.

Be fair to me
tell me what you know
how do l decide
if l should stay or go
am l good enough
will i ever see
how this could ever be

tell me right now
then l won't waste my time
chasing something
that will never be mine
dreams are dreams
they don't have to come true

as a matter of fact
they seldom do

a miracle now
is a way that is found
to get out of this mess
please sir, let me have this one
and you can have the rest

Liberation!

AAAAah! hahah.. finally! It didn't really hit until the weekend started :) first in what - 3months? And it feels amazing! haha.. all that freedom to do what you want and nothing that you don't want! No restrictions as to where you need to be and what you need to be doing. Could've been better but dreams are in the making out there and it really is quite cool. haha.. i'm actually quite proud of it ;)

i love having my time to be mine :D i love it love it love it! now i wanna go for a coffee, club, drink, beach, dinner, HANG OUT!! I love life!! hahaha... I now have time for a movie! Cut my hair! READ! LIVE!

wooo hooo!!!!

I love havana nights!! Everytime i watch the movie, i want to go to this place where you can be who you want to be at that moment. the grace, passion, intensity.. its just breath taking.

end

it was a quiet, almost non-event. Quite anti-climatic actually. haha.

So that was seven months of grief off my back : ) Can't say I'm sad that it's over. Not that it's much to shout about either since there's tonnes of paper to clear. But it's a relief that it'll never come back again. haha.. can tell that most of it was bad huh? Guess its time to muster up all that optimism from years gone by and try to see it all as one huge-assed lesson to be learnt. And for that I am grateful.

but please give me some time to recover ok?

Thanks babe, for offering refuge last night. Needed it. :)

Start

Ok. New start to the day.

Has been good so far.. got up after only 2 snoozes, read on the train, snoozed a little on the bus and managed to buy breakfast, eat and clear emails in good time. Also decided to lose the coffee in the morning and do with juice instead. Healthier I guess. If I need to then coffee in the afternoon will do just as well since its probably when I need it most.

So on to a healthy start.. hope the rest of the day goes just as well!

Refreshed

For some reason. Most probably the two 8-hour comas I've had within the past week. Of course, there's also the moving on to other stuff. It's like I finally have time to live and do the things I like again - reading, enjoying music without having to think about how it affects my mood, having proper dinners and drinks with people I connect with. Have a conversation :)

So in the morning, after the panic of waking up 30 mins late, here's what ran through my mind:

1) Take up driving again - get my licence within a year
2) Go back to Salsa and dancing in December - 2006
3) I will make a habit of reading prose written about things unrelated to work. If it leads me back to what I do and how I can work - fine.
4) Keep in touch with those I love. It's a horrible feeling to lose contact even for just a month. Really makes you feel more alone than you really are.
5) Make 1st Dec a real good one.
6) Always be inspired by what's around me. It's the only way to be creative and to know that you're still living.

So there. Six simple things to do that I will start on immediately.

First one that's already accomplished was reading - although for free at Borders. It was a book about the top creative minds in Singapore in the Ad industry and what inspires them, what their ethos is. And I'm glad to know that they don't live by some obscure, beyond mortal minds philosophy. They just keep their minds open.

It really isn't true that we close our minds to things. Most of the time we're quite receptive to new ideas, technologies, attitudes and mindsets. "Receptive" being the operative word here. Without being fed information or told of a new perspective, most of us are quite happy just not knowing or not having an opinion. The way to open our minds is to continually reach out to the world and be inspired by anything and everything. Imagine if we get so used to hooking unrelated things up and creating new ideas, seeing things in a totally whacked way, "creativity" will come in an instant! Brainstorm sessions will be a thing of the past because it happens over lunch, in meetings, while waiting for a bus, all the time! What a brilliant and exciting place the world would be to live in. Think about it - ideas that excite you - perpetually!

How wonderfully invigourating for a change!

This entry in no way means to belittle the sentiments in jenn's entry.... but it really SUCKS when ALL you get - EVERYTIME - from playing in the pitiful drizzle is fucking pneumonia.

cb.

Fuck you. Fuck you all. I hope you have a happy life you miserable buggers. Piss off. Scram! I hate you! I hate you all!!!! *screeeeeaaaaaam*

Why is it that i'm caught in that FIVE mins that i turn my back? Five mins out of 4 freakin weekends! Life sucks. Its like I've had good luck in my previous lives and all the bad luck goes into this one. What the hell!!!

Cancer

Call it Procrastinitis, last-minutitis - whatever. Its a cancer and I've got it. BAD. And its like I can never learn my lesson. How hard exactly do I have to be hit to realise that I can't go on like that forever? Its like looking into a man-hole (as in drainage system, please focus on the right things here!), remembering how you broke your leg in 3 places when you last fell into it and then thinking "hmm.. ok let me step into it"

"We're so fucked. Totally and completely."~Tush

YES YES YES YES!!!

haha.. aiyoh.. haven't rooted for anyone like that in a long time.. Its nice to be that silly young thing again.. hehe

Sigh.. I'm so in love with him! hahaha "FREEDOM!"

One month.

Thanks for perspective, inspiration, faith.

One month.

Life

I can just live with it but what am i trying to prove and to whom and what for?

So tired.

The Devil Wears Prada is a fucking fairy tale. Go watch it.

Dedicated to all you guys out there who are trying to ride out a low. Youuuu are not aloooone...

Weekends

(Klüft/Perishers)

You don’t know me
But I’m sitting next to you
Every morning
On the bus or on the tube

You look tired
Would it help to hear me say
Don’t you worry
Friday’s not that far away?

On the weekends
We try to get our share
Of excitement and of fresh air
Trying to forget
Who we’re gonna be
When the alarm rings
On monday morning

If in the evening
All you do is watch TV
Cause your too tired for anything else
You’re just like me

Just remember
As you struggle through the day
Relief awaits you
Friday’s not that far away

Its been a month since.. and its been the lowest ever i've ever been. Trying to get out of it... wish me luck.. and i miss people!! Thank goodness for buffets and coffee sessions!

OST 260706

"Dakota"

Thinking back, thinking of you
Summertime think it was June
Yeah think it was June
Laying back, head on the grass
Chewing gum having some laughs
Yeah having some laughs.

You made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one
You made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one

Drinking back, drinking for two
Drinking with you
When drinking was new
Sleeping in the back of my car
We never went far
Didn't need to go far

You made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one
You made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one

I don’t know where we are going now
I don’t know where we are going now

Wake up call, coffee and juice
Remembering you
What happened to you?
I wonder if we’ll meet again
Talk about life since then
Talk about why did it end

You made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one
You made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one

I don’t know where we are going now
I don’t know where we are going now

So take a look at me now

Happy!

I loved last night!! Goondness.. its been a while since i've had so much fun that i'm hungover with happy.. haha. It really was a night that started off with so much possibility of independence, living a different life altogether.

Then it was a great set at home. Too bad it didnt end as beautifully as it started but the music made me feel so alive, just pulsing through my veins. Its always so amazing to see performers enthralled by their music, their creation. And to be able to share in that energy - its just so invigorating!


Then of course there is Poptart and great great company!

Fun really is living moments with the people you love. Its sharing that look as you scream the lyrics of the songs that exhilarates you. When you really live the high with others - one or two hundred.

Spread the love babes.. live it!

So we think we can

and.

Weird and Wonderful Dreams

So it goes like this...

Some guy I'm really close to.. like my dad or something.. falls to his death in a crumbling building and of course, the crumbling building crumbles on him. There are many a desperate moment where I am scouring for traces of him in the site. I am pregnant for some reason. Nic discovers a new method of sifting through the sand and we find a/our ring - 3 interlinked.

Cut to sometime later (or its another dream, I cannot tell).

I see an empty dump site. It feels like it's ground zero of the crumbling building. Its one in a whole row of empty dump sites and we (i presume these are my friends but they dont make an appearance and i dont know who these friends are) decide to redevelop the area. Voila! We have spanking new HOUSES. Everything looks bright and cheery with lots of yellow and bright orange colours on the walls and DRIVEWAY. Last thing to get rid of is the flies.. many small ones and I borrow a pesticide from my neighbour Andrew. To top it off is the fresh, flowery fragrance of the Moonflower scent from Bodyshop - in that frosted bottle and magenta cap that I love but do not have. I am joyful and contented. And proud of what I have done.

Cut to years back (and its probably another dream).

I am sharing a room with a roomate. It is a typical uni accom type of room. There is one big bed and one smaller. My stuff are on the smaller bed but its our first day and havent quite decided who gets what. Rather than have to choose, we call Kams to ask why we have different beds and if we can change the small one for a bigger one. Kams isn't happy. haha..

I wake up.

Weird and Wonderful Dreams

So it goes like this...

Some guy I'm really close to.. like my dad or something.. falls to his death in a crumbling building and of course, the crumbling building crumbles on him. There are many a desperate moment where I am scouring for traces of him in the site. I am pregnant for some reason. Nic discovers a new method of sifting through the sand and we find a/our ring - 3 interlinked.

Cut to sometime later (or its another dream, I cannot tell).

I see an empty dump site. It feels like it's the

Comfort

Ironic that it is in the place where there is most people that one’s privacy is least invaded. Where one has the freedom to do – rather not do – things and not have to consider the consequences on oneself.

On the streets, a constant buzz of activity, chatter, and rushing crowd lets you get away with idleness, minimal interaction and aimless wandering of your mind and feet. Lost in musing, speculating on the next trivial little thing that happens to cross your path. Like dried leaves of no consequence in the world anymore, that have no purpose to its existence, these fleeting ideas and conjectures come in and out of focus. A leaf – a silhouette – and its gone. A thought – a shadow of a thought – and its gone. And it doesn’t matter that nothing ever came out of it. Nothing was supposed to. There was nothing to be efficient about, no product to be derived other than the little frivolous extrapolation of reality that put that raised the corner of your eyes slightly.

“Mm.. wouldn’t I like to float around mindlessly all day…”

“That… was that a smile?...”

“Is my bra showing?!”

So maybe there are consequences. But they are still quite inconsequential.

Whom I think I am, I am not.

Is there worse?

Presenting Cheeks ...as jasmilyn monroe.

I love the genius of my friends ; )

"I Don't Know What I Can Save You From" - [Röyksopp Remix]

Its after dinner, I'm sat on my bed.. room's clean (embarrassingly, thanks to mom and dad), I've had a fantastic weekend (thanks babes!), a much loved night of rejuvenation and rest, true blue home cooked food (once again, thanks to mom & dad) and all it took was for this upbeat tune (those of you who have heard this song will know what i mean) to make me realise how truly blessed I am with all the beautiful things that have happened to me this past 24 hours.

Its only when all the great things come together in a perfect combination that you see how many wonderful people and experiences there are that occur in your Life everyday that you completely take for granted.

Has this come at a time when I need it most? I don't think so. It's not been that bad but there are a few whom I know are going through a really rough time and I really wish they'll be able to catch a glimpse of how fulfilling their lives can be and how loved they are. There really is something worth hanging on to!

And when you see such perfection, it's inevitable that you are also struck by the million and one stupid, dumb things you are so close to doing that will ruin it all. Which is good because then you know what you need to save yourself from.

May everyone be blessed with love and beauty and inspiration and a big beautiful smile everyday :) I love y'all!

Horror Scope

Aquarius

As far as the astrological powers-that-be are concerned, you have permission to play hooky. Whether their authorisation will carry any weight with your boss and the people who depend on you, I can't say. But the pure cosmic fact of the matter is that you should devote as much time as possible in the coming days to avoiding responsibility, following your whims and indulging in sweet pleasures that in no way serve the values of the cold, cruel, workday world. It's time to wander out into a field of wild flowers and chase butterflies. Or something similar.

- Astrology Section, I-S Magazine.. week of June 9 2006.


Such sweet torture.. toy with your mind, and your desires... all the while telling you that it's not gonna work out. Seems to be the trend these days.

Alternative Lifestyles

1. Plant turnips in Zimbabwe.

2. STOP THINKING JUST DO. STOPTHINKINGJUSTDO.STOPTHINKINGJUSTDO.STOPTHINKINGJUSTDO.STOPTHINKINGJUSTDO.STOPTHINKINGJUSTDO.STOPTHINKINGJUSTDO.STOPTHINKINGJUSTDO.STOPTHINKINGJUSTDO.STOPTHINKINGJUSTDO.STOPTHINKINGJUSTDO.STOPTHINKINGJUSTDO.STOPTHINKINGJUSTDO.STOPTHINKINGJUSTDO.STOPTHINKINGJUSTDO.STOPTHINKINGJUSTDO.STOPTHINKINGJUSTDO.STOPTHINKINGJUSTDO.STOPTHINKINGJUSTDO.STOPTHINKINGJUSTDO.STOPTHINKINGJUSTDO.

3.DO. do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.

Aha! Moments

Goodness.. it must have been EEEEEOOOONNNS since I last had the smarts. A flash of brilliance can make you so alive and full of adrenaline... imagine TWO in one night!!! Its Magical!!!

Its times like this that makes all the pain, frustration and grief worthwile...

I'm a FUCKING GENIUS!!
Wooo Hooo!!!
I ROCK!!!

What good is a life that is nothing but emotionless, experienceless efficiency? Sure you get through alot of things but none of which you remember, have any significance to you, and has no purpose other than to pave the way for more clinical and methodical living? Is life just one long to do list? Then what's at the end of the list? Die? Maybe thats why as productivity increases, suicide rates increase too. Before our allocated time is up, we've gone through the whole bloody list and reach the end. And we're so fucking efficient that we can't even let nature take its course. Better to do it ourselves. Then we can move on.

To Fucking What?

Full Circle

So it has come.. who woulda thought huh?

Yes, my dark eye circles are proper circles now.. even the eyelids are dark.. like what the hell?

I really need to sleep properly.. but nothing seems to work.. silence, music, pitch darkness, what else? I can't keep on wasting 6 hrs everyday in a state of unconsciousness but not getting any rest out of it... worse still, the day is ruined coz the drained batteries cant run anymore...


if anyone has tips that dont come from spam mail, please help!!

I don't get many things right the first timeIn fact, I am told that a lotNow I know all the wrong turns, the stumbles and fallsBrought me hereAnd where was I before the dayThat I first saw your lovely face?Now I see it everydayAnd I knowThat I amI amI amThe luckiestWhat if I'd been born fifty years before youIn a house on a street where you lived?Maybe I'd be outside as you passed on your bikeWould I know?And in a white sea of eyesI see one pair that I recognizeAnd I knowThat I amI amI amThe luckiestI love you more than I have ever found a way to say to youNext door there's an old man who lived to his ninetiesAnd one day passed away in his sleepAnd his wife; she stayed for a couple of daysAnd passed awayI'm sorry, I know that's a strange way to tell you that I know we belongThat I knowThat I amI amI amThe luckiest

-The Luckiest, Ben Folds

a self indulgent wallow.

It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do...

To open up my eyes
and look at all my To-Dos...

Waking up can be the most wonderful experiences in Life. Provided you get to go back to sleep immediately. Otherwise, it's probably the single most excruciating pain that we indulge in. Not helped by the fact that we have to go through it nearly everyday.

Sure, its a sweeping statement. Waking up can be full of hope, anticipation, excitement of whats to come in the day :) Just let me go back to sleep after that.

Space - A time and place to be intimate with oneself.

Clutter-less.

Noise-less.

Chatter-less.

Peace.

Rare.

Precious.

When was the last time you were with yourself?

Silly girls' nights out!!

Most fun to go totally silly and, for some, get picked up by little boys.. TWICE no less.. haha

I love you babes! We SO should do this more often. Cannot get old!!

Ruined

I wake up in bed at 1am and think its time to go to work.

I wake up in bed at 730am, think of the signages that need to be changed, what is the correct title to put up.

I wake up in bed at 735am and worry if I had forgotten to burn the bgm.

I cant go back to bed.

its 1.32pm

I'm getting my life back again!!!

oh boys.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dUMwGtuTQwU

oh boys.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dUMwGtuTQwU

Precious conversation..

You~ Because I am who you perceive me to be and I am nothing without you. says:
is it coat-of-arms?
You~ Because I am who you perceive me to be and I am nothing without you. says:
the shield type things?
jenn: wjy had better be right says:
the symbol of the two things going at it and usually on shields
jenn: wjy had better be right says:
yup

"I feel like eating the world so that that they won't annoy me"

you the best babe.

haha

Life could be so easy...

If we all knew what we had to do and followed through without a single doubt that we are right. There wouldn't be a need for choices because there are no alternatives.

There would be no speculation, just certainty.

There would be no fear of rejection or reproach because you know that it is right the thing to do.

Thus criticism will lose its bite, bribery will be useless.

So what happens when completely opposite ideas meet head on?

In the bigger scheme of things, I guess this wouldn't work out very well.

Otherwise, I think I could use abit of that mindless resolve now.

Enough for now.

If you had a crystal ball, could you really not look into it?

I found a blog today. Sweetest thing ever. Not that its necessarily happy. I dont actually know how to describe it.. "sweet" really is too saccharine. haha..

Yet it is the most lovely, romantic, swoonable writing that you cant dismiss as frivolous because it is so heartfelt, genuine and painful.

I am amazed that there are still people out there who can express themselves so beautifully through words, even when accompanied by pictures. That someone bothers to put in any effort to communicate feelings in their purest, truest form. carefully chosen words, semantics, images that say exactly what is to be said in the correct intensity, to the right extend. so precise that the words themselves fade into the background and its the power of the message that hits you right in the gut or gently caresses your cheek.

And I will not share this blog address for if it should be read by someone who cannot appreciate its quality and eloquence, it will forever be cheapened.

haha.. i'm such an unforgiving, selfish bitch aren't i?

ambition

Calv. - It's business as usual... Nothing personal, just business says:
i dun wan to study
Calv. - It's business as usual... Nothing personal, just business says:
i wan to strike toto
Boo~ says:
haha
Boo~ says:
me too babe
Calv. - It's business as usual... Nothing personal, just business says:
lets be professional gamblers when the casino comes up
Calv. - It's business as usual... Nothing personal, just business says:
god of gamblers
Calv. - It's business as usual... Nothing personal, just business says:
goddness of gambers
Boo~ says:
haha
Calv. - It's business as usual... Nothing personal, just business says:
yea. ;lets both be GOGs
Boo~ says:
gogs..
Calv. - It's business as usual... Nothing personal, just business says:
yea. [G]od/dess [O]f [G]amblers
Boo~ says:
i know that..
Calv. - It's business as usual... Nothing personal, just business says:
ok
Boo~ GOG by profession. says:
there you go.
Calv. - It's business as usual... Nothing personal, just business says:
lol. ok. anyway i had to clarrify to tell u mah
Calv. - It's business as usual... Nothing personal, just business says:
if anything
Calv. - It's business as usual... Nothing personal, just business says:
i learnt never to ASSUME anything wif gers
Boo~ GOG by profession. says:
haha
Boo~ GOG by profession. says:
good thing to remember
Calv. - It's business as usual... Nothing personal, just business says:
yea. i hereby confer upon u, the honorable title of...
Calv. - It's business as usual... Nothing personal, just business says:
a GOG

The way Fridays should be

Woke up with Rihana's Replay in my head. Lovely ;)

Party time guys!

most cute even though i dont understand most of it ; )

Eartha Kitt - Je Cherche Un Homme Lyrics


Je cherche un homme, un homme, un homme
Un Pierre, ou Paul, un Jacques, ou Tom
Mais n'importe comment il se nomme
S'il est un homme, homme, homme

Je n'exige pas un ???
Qui s' ??? dans les salons
Ni un type fort comme un Samson
Pourvu que j'ai un «mate » un ???

Il n'a pas besoin d'etre un milliardaire
Qu'il soit beau, non ca m'est egale
Il n'a pas besoin d'etre un grand lumiere
star du cinema, ni prince royal

Je cherche un homme, un homme, un homme
Qu'il s'appelle Pierre, ou Paul, ou Tom
Pourvu qu'il donne son maximum
Je cherche un homme, un homme, un homme

Doesn't have to be prince or movie-star
A Texas oilman, or a French marquis
Doesn't have to be handsome as a picture
An ordinary guy is allright with me

Je cherche un hommme, un homme, un homme
Qu'il s'appelle Pierre, ou Paul, ou Tom
Pourvu qu'il donne son maximum
Je cherche un homme, un homme, un homme

Je cherche un homme, un homme, un homme

Never enough

10 hours.. T.E.N. hours and I'm still needing more..

gee.

http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/singaporelocalnews/view/200805/1/.html

Goodness.. are we really really letting such naive people lead us into the future??

If they really believe in what they say then they're sadly misguided and living with their heads in a cumulonimbus cloud.

If this is their idea of PR skill.. I can't believe that they already feel like they can get away with saying things like this when they've just been introduced. Not a stitch of humility (fake or otherwise) and already asserting that they're hardworking.

We really are such suckers right.

Envy

There was only quiet for a moment and you could hear the wheels churning in the minds of the office workers, silently plotting their escape to the weekend. It presented an opportunity to muse about having nothing to muse about, a little introspection perhaps. There was quiet for only a moment.

Then there was something that solved that little problem of nothing to feel much about lately. Envy - that horrible, evil, greedy, hateful feeling was unleashed in full force on a lonely girl with her single paper cup of coffee.

WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE RUNNING AROUND WITH SUITCASES RUSHING TO CATCH A CRUISE HOLIDAY ON A FRIDAY MORNING???!!!

Ear piercing shrill of kids flaunting their lack of responsibility and care, grating grind of luggage wheels on the floor that seemed to slope down towards the cruise center as if they weren't getting there enough! Pink, red, yellow, blue bags and straw hats! And the worst -

"Wouldnt it be nice if we had left yesterday instead?"

Russian Dolls

Brilliant. You bet its a better date movie than Date Movie.

Enjoy!

Transamerica

Came out of this one in the same mood as Brokeback. Not sure what to feel about the ending but knowing that it was an excellent movie.

Alot of themes in there and Felicity Huffman is an amazing actress - a woman acting as a man acting as a woman. All the subtleties and imagery used are so apt for the points the movie tries to make. Add to that a healthy dose humour and realism and its no wonder its an Oscar nominee.


Plus it smelt good in there.

A little melancholy for the day

And it came to me then that every plan
Is a tiny prayer to father time
As I stared at my shoes in the ICU
That reeked of piss and 409
And I rationed my breaths as I said to myself
That I’ve already taken too much today
As each descending peak on the LCD
Took you a little farther away from me
Away from me

Amongst the vending machines and year-old magazines
In a place where we only say goodbye
It stung like a violent wind that our memories depend
On a faulty camera in our minds
And I knew that you were a truth I would rather lose
Than to have never lain beside at all
And I looked around at all the eyes on the ground
As the TV entertained itself

‘Cause there’s no comfort in the waiting room
Just nervous pacers bracing for bad news
And then the nurse comes ‘round and everyone lift their heads
But I’m thinking of what Sarah said

That love is watching someone die

So who’s gonna watch you die?

- What Sarah Said,
Deathcab for Cutie

One

Trevor Jalla is an amazing performer. Between the goofy grins and that twisting left leg is man and music in one. What flows from heart to hand to guitar flows back into a sound that, while created by legends before him, in that moment, belongs to Trevor Jalla and Trevor Jalla only. Perhaps that's why he's able to play all that blues in his own style and still make it work. He is so familiar and comfortable with the music that he can manipulate it to create something that is his own.

"Come on Trevor, speak to us. Speak to us in Guitar-ese"

A Real Charmer

" I see a 36-24-36 happening!

Stop right there!
You have the right to remain luscious.
Anything you say will make me hold you against me."

- guess who

"We are demonstrating in order to protect press freedom in Kenya. Press freedom in Kenya is under siege," Raila Odinga

"The freedoms of Kenyans and of the media are not favours from the government... A government that does not respect the freedom of speech must go," William Ruto

"Anybody who is infringing on press freedom must go," Kalonzo Musyoka

Tell me again - we are more advanced than them?

Hmm. been thinking of posting something for a while but wasn't really inspired by anything that's happened in my life. thats not to say that nothing's happened of course.. if anything... haha

i dont wanna jinx it. but things have gone well, i'm thankful for that.

and then there's jake gyllenhaal and heath ledger. thankful for them too ; )

I love you more than words can wield the matter;
Dearer than eyesight, space, and liberty;
Beyond what can be valued, rich or rare;
No less than life, with grace, health, beauty, honour;
A love that makes breath poor, and speech unable.
Beyond all manner of so much I love you.

I profess Myself an enemy to all other joys
Which the most precious square of sense possesses,
And find I am alone felicitate In your love.


Now, our joy, Although the last, not least; to whose young love
The vines of France and milk of Burgundy Strive to be interest; what can you say to draw
A third more opulent?

Nothing.

Nothing?

Nothing.

Nothing can come of nothing. Speak again.

Unhappy that I am, I cannot heave
My heart into my mouth. I love you
According to my bond; no more nor less.

You have begot me, bred me, lov'd me;
I Return those duties back as are right fit,
Obey you, love you, and most honour you.

But goes thy heart with this?
So young, and so untender?

So young, my lord, and true.

Let it be so! thy truth then be thy dower!

Company and crowd

Company's hard to figure out sometimes.. hardly get it right. Dont usually have a problem nowadays, but tonight.. when i'm still running on India time, it kinda snuck up on me. missing something? Most probably. Alot of people. They might know.

Could always appreciate it though. Just tonight is abit hard to get through for some reason.

The still is daunting and blasting music comforts not.
Let me go to sleep.

anyone recognizes this?

wake up. and watch the sunrise
your day, its just begun
and your first thought, of tomorrow
are of the things that must be done

when you fall asleep tonight
what will it be that makes you smile
is it the light thats in your eyes
as you face the challenges down

when you find whats deep inside
that keeps you going on
when you find you love your life
what's more that can't be done

there are days that put you off
nothing moves at all
the world is dead and so on
do you believe or will you fall

keep in touch with me
tell me all your stories
of the victories in your dreams
that we can make reality

tomorrow when you wake
listen to the call
if you waver if you break
your love, your pride - will take the fall

*Happy*