Fuck you. Fuck you all. I hope you have a happy life you miserable buggers. Piss off. Scram! I hate you! I hate you all!!!! *screeeeeaaaaaam*

Why is it that i'm caught in that FIVE mins that i turn my back? Five mins out of 4 freakin weekends! Life sucks. Its like I've had good luck in my previous lives and all the bad luck goes into this one. What the hell!!!

Cancer

Call it Procrastinitis, last-minutitis - whatever. Its a cancer and I've got it. BAD. And its like I can never learn my lesson. How hard exactly do I have to be hit to realise that I can't go on like that forever? Its like looking into a man-hole (as in drainage system, please focus on the right things here!), remembering how you broke your leg in 3 places when you last fell into it and then thinking "hmm.. ok let me step into it"

"We're so fucked. Totally and completely."~Tush

YES YES YES YES!!!

haha.. aiyoh.. haven't rooted for anyone like that in a long time.. Its nice to be that silly young thing again.. hehe

Sigh.. I'm so in love with him! hahaha "FREEDOM!"

One month.

Thanks for perspective, inspiration, faith.

One month.

Life

I can just live with it but what am i trying to prove and to whom and what for?

So tired.

The Devil Wears Prada is a fucking fairy tale. Go watch it.

Dedicated to all you guys out there who are trying to ride out a low. Youuuu are not aloooone...

Weekends

(Klüft/Perishers)

You don’t know me
But I’m sitting next to you
Every morning
On the bus or on the tube

You look tired
Would it help to hear me say
Don’t you worry
Friday’s not that far away?

On the weekends
We try to get our share
Of excitement and of fresh air
Trying to forget
Who we’re gonna be
When the alarm rings
On monday morning

If in the evening
All you do is watch TV
Cause your too tired for anything else
You’re just like me

Just remember
As you struggle through the day
Relief awaits you
Friday’s not that far away

Its been a month since.. and its been the lowest ever i've ever been. Trying to get out of it... wish me luck.. and i miss people!! Thank goodness for buffets and coffee sessions!

OST 260706

"Dakota"

Thinking back, thinking of you
Summertime think it was June
Yeah think it was June
Laying back, head on the grass
Chewing gum having some laughs
Yeah having some laughs.

You made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one
You made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one

Drinking back, drinking for two
Drinking with you
When drinking was new
Sleeping in the back of my car
We never went far
Didn't need to go far

You made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one
You made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one

I don’t know where we are going now
I don’t know where we are going now

Wake up call, coffee and juice
Remembering you
What happened to you?
I wonder if we’ll meet again
Talk about life since then
Talk about why did it end

You made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one
You made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one

I don’t know where we are going now
I don’t know where we are going now

So take a look at me now

Happy!

I loved last night!! Goondness.. its been a while since i've had so much fun that i'm hungover with happy.. haha. It really was a night that started off with so much possibility of independence, living a different life altogether.

Then it was a great set at home. Too bad it didnt end as beautifully as it started but the music made me feel so alive, just pulsing through my veins. Its always so amazing to see performers enthralled by their music, their creation. And to be able to share in that energy - its just so invigorating!


Then of course there is Poptart and great great company!

Fun really is living moments with the people you love. Its sharing that look as you scream the lyrics of the songs that exhilarates you. When you really live the high with others - one or two hundred.

Spread the love babes.. live it!

So we think we can

and.

Weird and Wonderful Dreams

So it goes like this...

Some guy I'm really close to.. like my dad or something.. falls to his death in a crumbling building and of course, the crumbling building crumbles on him. There are many a desperate moment where I am scouring for traces of him in the site. I am pregnant for some reason. Nic discovers a new method of sifting through the sand and we find a/our ring - 3 interlinked.

Cut to sometime later (or its another dream, I cannot tell).

I see an empty dump site. It feels like it's ground zero of the crumbling building. Its one in a whole row of empty dump sites and we (i presume these are my friends but they dont make an appearance and i dont know who these friends are) decide to redevelop the area. Voila! We have spanking new HOUSES. Everything looks bright and cheery with lots of yellow and bright orange colours on the walls and DRIVEWAY. Last thing to get rid of is the flies.. many small ones and I borrow a pesticide from my neighbour Andrew. To top it off is the fresh, flowery fragrance of the Moonflower scent from Bodyshop - in that frosted bottle and magenta cap that I love but do not have. I am joyful and contented. And proud of what I have done.

Cut to years back (and its probably another dream).

I am sharing a room with a roomate. It is a typical uni accom type of room. There is one big bed and one smaller. My stuff are on the smaller bed but its our first day and havent quite decided who gets what. Rather than have to choose, we call Kams to ask why we have different beds and if we can change the small one for a bigger one. Kams isn't happy. haha..

I wake up.

Weird and Wonderful Dreams

So it goes like this...

Some guy I'm really close to.. like my dad or something.. falls to his death in a crumbling building and of course, the crumbling building crumbles on him. There are many a desperate moment where I am scouring for traces of him in the site. I am pregnant for some reason. Nic discovers a new method of sifting through the sand and we find a/our ring - 3 interlinked.

Cut to sometime later (or its another dream, I cannot tell).

I see an empty dump site. It feels like it's the

Comfort

Ironic that it is in the place where there is most people that one’s privacy is least invaded. Where one has the freedom to do – rather not do – things and not have to consider the consequences on oneself.

On the streets, a constant buzz of activity, chatter, and rushing crowd lets you get away with idleness, minimal interaction and aimless wandering of your mind and feet. Lost in musing, speculating on the next trivial little thing that happens to cross your path. Like dried leaves of no consequence in the world anymore, that have no purpose to its existence, these fleeting ideas and conjectures come in and out of focus. A leaf – a silhouette – and its gone. A thought – a shadow of a thought – and its gone. And it doesn’t matter that nothing ever came out of it. Nothing was supposed to. There was nothing to be efficient about, no product to be derived other than the little frivolous extrapolation of reality that put that raised the corner of your eyes slightly.

“Mm.. wouldn’t I like to float around mindlessly all day…”

“That… was that a smile?...”

“Is my bra showing?!”

So maybe there are consequences. But they are still quite inconsequential.

Whom I think I am, I am not.

Is there worse?

Presenting Cheeks ...as jasmilyn monroe.

I love the genius of my friends ; )

"I Don't Know What I Can Save You From" - [Röyksopp Remix]

Its after dinner, I'm sat on my bed.. room's clean (embarrassingly, thanks to mom and dad), I've had a fantastic weekend (thanks babes!), a much loved night of rejuvenation and rest, true blue home cooked food (once again, thanks to mom & dad) and all it took was for this upbeat tune (those of you who have heard this song will know what i mean) to make me realise how truly blessed I am with all the beautiful things that have happened to me this past 24 hours.

Its only when all the great things come together in a perfect combination that you see how many wonderful people and experiences there are that occur in your Life everyday that you completely take for granted.

Has this come at a time when I need it most? I don't think so. It's not been that bad but there are a few whom I know are going through a really rough time and I really wish they'll be able to catch a glimpse of how fulfilling their lives can be and how loved they are. There really is something worth hanging on to!

And when you see such perfection, it's inevitable that you are also struck by the million and one stupid, dumb things you are so close to doing that will ruin it all. Which is good because then you know what you need to save yourself from.

May everyone be blessed with love and beauty and inspiration and a big beautiful smile everyday :) I love y'all!

Horror Scope

Aquarius

As far as the astrological powers-that-be are concerned, you have permission to play hooky. Whether their authorisation will carry any weight with your boss and the people who depend on you, I can't say. But the pure cosmic fact of the matter is that you should devote as much time as possible in the coming days to avoiding responsibility, following your whims and indulging in sweet pleasures that in no way serve the values of the cold, cruel, workday world. It's time to wander out into a field of wild flowers and chase butterflies. Or something similar.

- Astrology Section, I-S Magazine.. week of June 9 2006.


Such sweet torture.. toy with your mind, and your desires... all the while telling you that it's not gonna work out. Seems to be the trend these days.

Alternative Lifestyles

1. Plant turnips in Zimbabwe.

2. STOP THINKING JUST DO. STOPTHINKINGJUSTDO.STOPTHINKINGJUSTDO.STOPTHINKINGJUSTDO.STOPTHINKINGJUSTDO.STOPTHINKINGJUSTDO.STOPTHINKINGJUSTDO.STOPTHINKINGJUSTDO.STOPTHINKINGJUSTDO.STOPTHINKINGJUSTDO.STOPTHINKINGJUSTDO.STOPTHINKINGJUSTDO.STOPTHINKINGJUSTDO.STOPTHINKINGJUSTDO.STOPTHINKINGJUSTDO.STOPTHINKINGJUSTDO.STOPTHINKINGJUSTDO.STOPTHINKINGJUSTDO.STOPTHINKINGJUSTDO.STOPTHINKINGJUSTDO.STOPTHINKINGJUSTDO.

3.DO. do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.do.