The Sound of Settling

I've got a hunger
Twisting my stomach into knots.
That my tongue has tied off.

My brain's repeating
"If you've got an impulse let it out"
But they never make it past my mouth.

Bop ba, this is the sound of settling
Bop ba, Bop ba


Our youth is fleeting,
Old age is just around the bend.
And I can't wait to go gray.

And I'll sit and wonder
Of every love that could've been.
If I'd only thought of something charming to say.

Bop ba, this is the sound of settling
Bop ba, Bop ba.

so what if i am and so what if i'm not. it doesn't change that something is missing and until its found, there is only emptiness. what good will it do me to declare one way or another?

Easy weekends are fun, comforting, relaxing and make you appreciate your companions that much more.

Thanks guys :)

It's been a John kinda day.

Easy and laid back, mostly, with a little mischief, cool, and a sweet end :)

It's been a John kinda day.

i needs hug. *burrows into pillows*

It's not the end of the year yet but here's my thanks for something I will remember for the rest of the year. A most illuminating breakfast I had that took place in a little hotel out of town.

It's roughly 630am on a work day and I'm whinging about Life and it being too late to dream.

So he said "BULLSHIT. Come to America and do it."

Thanks, John. Needed it : )

I think I need to go and be by myself for a while.. Then maybe I'll learn to be ok with it.

An olfactory seduction at midnight.

Just started my first batch of cold brewed coffee. I've most likely used the wrong type of coffee since it is quite finely ground but maaan.. that moment when the seal of that vacuum-packed coffee was breached - the hiss of air rushing in and the heady aroma of that coffee hits you - unbelievable. Inhaling that rich, intoxicating scent will send a shiver of anticipation down your spine like the thrill of the first brush of warm, dry fingers against the small of your back at a party.

I cannot wait.

Sometimes a big busy day can really help one feel the comfort of a few quiet hours before the party begins again. Having the house quiet coz everyone else is out having dinner, cool breeze from the open windows and My Morning Jacket on the playlist. It's almost perfect :)

Edit to the last post..

In light of recent events, I think it is abit unfair and even a little childish to say that he doesn't exist at all. He does. I have met him and laughed with him. He just does't exist in my reality now.

He's the kind of guy that would say
Hey baby let's get away let's go some where, huh?
Where I don't care
He's the kind of guy that will give you everything
And trust your heart, share all of your love, till death do you part

I want to be what he wants when he wants it, and whenever he needs it
And when he's lonesome and feelin' love starved
I'll be there to feed it
Lovin' him a little bit more each day
He turns me right on when I hear him say

(Hey baby let's get away, let's go somewhere far
(Baby can we?)
Where I don't care
I love to hear him say
(Hey baby let's get away, let's go somewhere far
(Baby can we?)
Well I don't care

I wanna be what he wants when he wants it
And whenever he needs it
When it comes to being feelin' loved starved I'll be there to please him
Lovin him a little bit more each day
It turns me right on when I hear him say

(Hey baby let's get away, let's go somewhere far)
(Baby can we?) Where, I don't care
I love to hear him say
(Hey baby let's get away, let's go somewhere far)
(Baby can we?) Where, I don´t care

(Day dreamin and I'm thinkin of you)

~Day dreaming - Corinne Bailey Rae

He's also the kind who doesn't exist.

Right. So. What more am I going to have to do?

Wait some more, or what?

Make a move, or what?

Tell me leh!

Dedicated to so many people

You showed me my tomorrow
Beside a box of matches
A welcome threatening stir

My hopes of being stolen
Might just ring true
Depends who you prefer

But if it’s true you’re gonna run away
Tell me where
I’ll meet you there

Am I snapping the excitement
If I pack away the laguther
And tell you how it feels

And does burden come to meet ya
If I’ve questions of the feature that runs on your dream wheel

The day after you stole my heart,
Everything i touched told me it would be better shared with you

And you're hiding in my soup
And the book reveals your face
And you're splashing in in the my eyelids
The concentration continually breaks

I did request the mark you cast
Didn’t heal as fast
I hear your vioce in silences
Will the teasing of the fire be followed by the thud?

And the jostling crowd
You’re not allowed to tell the truth
And the photobooth’s a liar
And the sharpened explanations
But theres no screaming reason to inquire
I’d like to poke them in their prying eyes with things they never see if it's smacked them in their temples

Fire and the Thud - Arctic Monkeys

Jetlag

Every night I await sleep elusive,

the warm breeze caresses my cheek

rolling thunder murmurs comfortingly

raindrops tap my shoulder left and right

then on my nose -

that cheeky one.

Daydreams-
A mind's wanderlust,
Floating by on the scent of watermelon flavoured gum

Drifting
Into
A life gone right

Mistakes not made
Leave no trail of regret.
Butterflies flit and skirts flounce

Sunlight streams in through the patio
And we lay by the fireplace

Daydreams..

Why do i hate you? Because you do this to me.

Knot comes loose

B.B.B.B. CAN’T YOU SEE THAT I’M SMILING??? CAN’T YOU SEE – THERE’S A PART OF ME THAT’S BRAND NEW???
USED TO BE – WAS A PART OF ME FELT LIKE HIDIN – BUT NOW IT COMES THRU!
DEEP IN MY HEART – THAT’S WHERE THE KNOT COMES LOOSE.
DEEP IN MY HEART – I WILL REMEMBER YOU.
ALL MY LOVELY LIFE I BEEN WAITIN – HOT HEELS ANTICIPATIN.
ANOTHER LOVE I FOUND NOT TO LET IT DOWN.
DEEP IN MY HEART – THAT’S WHERE THE KNOT COMES LOOSE.
DEEP IN MY HEART – I WILL REMEMBER YOU.


- My Morning Jacket

Nice song for late nights :)

settling dust

its 1am, everyone's still awake. i'm sitting here in the lobby, bright lights, with the ash tray on the table.

and there is silence as everyone plugs into their laptops, mine plays Sigur Ros.

i am heartbroken.

Of quiet dinners and beautiful company

My horoscope said to take a "day of wellness" today and so I did. Left the office a little earlier than usual and headed to Kaiho Sushi with Jenn for nice quite Japanese dinner. Apart from excellent sashimi and an all round delicious meal, the quiet conversation peppered with occasional sake tips from the chef was the perfect way to end the first part of the week and to wind down and prepare for the long hard days ahead. Company and good food - what more can one ask for?

Thanks babe. Hope you had a good night too :)

Dear Jasmine,

Thank you for letting be me and then helping me get over me. It isn't always easy. Actually, it's usually quite painful to have to be the only one having to hear the constant monologue of angst, regret, irrational euphoria that is inevitably followed by nasty bitching and bouts of self-pity that manifests in various forms of retail excess. 

It isn't anyone's fault. I decided to be what I am but you've always very generously taken the blame for the mess-ups and I am grateful for that. It must seem very troublesome to have to deal with the whining and more than once, it has landed you more problems than you had energy to fix. 

I guess I could say that I won't make things so difficult anymore but we know that's never going to work. Life will be Life, and it is only going to get tougher in the days ahead but I love you and we will get through this. I promise to live up the happy days more often than brood over the ones that aren't as nice.

 You're a good friend, babe. The best :) 

Sweet dreams, girl.